An Open Letter to College-Bound Students and Their Parents

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Five years ago, I had the privilege of working with two dozen very committed, student-centered college enrollment officers, to offer this advice to high school seniors, and to students about to begin their college experience.  Five years later, I’m hard pressed to find words that offer better advice to this year’s seniors.  This is a little longer than my usual blog, and some of these admissions officers have moved on, but I think this counsel is well worth the space today.  Please feel free to share with any and all.

There are few times more exciting to work on a college campus than the start of a new academic year. Across the country, thousands of new students descend on institutions of higher learning, each student with their own talents and aspirations, eager to share their understanding of the world, excited to discover more about who they are and what the world has to offer. Those of us working in college admissions offices are grateful and humbled to watch this happen every fall, as bright, able students begin a journey of discovery as strangers and emerge from the experience knowing more about themselves, each other and the possibilities that await after graduation.

To be sure, the process of starting college, and the application process that accompanies it, can have its moments of anxiety and uncertainty. Applying to college opens students to scrutiny in ways few other events in life do, and the uncertainty that accompanies the college application process can be rife with doubts. The same can occur in the initial few days of the first year of college, or even subsequent years, as students see the academic and social challenges awaiting them, many wondering if they are up to the tasks required of them.

Recent studies suggest more students are experiencing bouts of anxiety, doubt and depression over the transition to college, and life in general, than ever before. Increasing competition for limited spots at some colleges, concerns over the ability to meet the financial demands of college attendance and general concern if the student is heading in the right direction are just some of the factors contributing to this increase. Combined with what other reports see as rising personal and social pressures, it is easy to understand why more students than ever before are looking for reassurance at a time of transition that seems to offer so little of it.

To those students applying to college this fall, we say to you -- we hear you, and we are here to help. Out of the thousands of higher education institutions in the United States -- be it a four-year college or university, a two-year college, or a technical training program -- not a single one runs an Office of Judgment. The purpose of an office of admission is to authentically represent our institution and the experience it can provide. We review each applicant and determine if that student’s talents, goals and interests will be best served by our school, without exceeding our capacity to serve all students who enroll.

It’s been said that no one goes into college admissions because they want to see how many students they can reject. This isn’t always easy for students to understand, especially when there are more qualified applicants than room to admit them. But that is a limitation of the college, not the students. There are many places where you can shine, and the application process give you the opportunity to explore all of them.

Our work with you is designed to nurture and encourage you in every step of the application process, to create a dialogue that allows you to bring forth the best, clearest picture of who you are, what you think about and what our institution can do to help you grow. If your work on an application finds you wondering where to turn for help, support or reassurance, contact us. Helping you is not our job; it is our privilege.

Recognizing that many of life’s challenges aren’t related to college, it is important to realize you also have local support to help you with any issues that may come up in your life. Understanding that teachers and school counselors are often faced with high numbers of students to serve, these professionals have a remarkable track record of stepping up and offering help to students who ask for it. From reviewing drafts of admissions essays, to listening to your plans for the future, to connecting you to other professionals who may offer greater help with other challenges, the educators and support teams of your local schools are here for you as well.

To those students starting their college careers this fall, we say welcome. Our work with your application for admission may be over, but our help in welcoming you to campus and assisting with a smooth adjustment to your new academic home is never over. Our colleagues in other parts of the college, including student services, academic support and the faculty, know there is more to a successful college transition than good grades and a strong classroom experience.

If asking for help feels uncomfortable, know that every student feels that way. It may look like everyone in college is walking around with great confidence, but nearly no one is. College is a new world, with a new language, culture and norms. It’s more than OK to acknowledge that you need some help making sense of this new world, and research shows that’s much more likely to happen if you find a peer or mentor to connect with. It’s also the No. 1 reason you’ll come back for the next semester, and the next year, and graduate. Start with the one person for whom asking feels the least awkward. People who work for colleges are there for one reason -- your success -- and they want to help.

To the parents looking for the best way to promote strong, healthy, autonomous life habits in their children who are college bound, we strongly urge you to play an active role that puts the student at the center of the application and transition processes. The skills needed to complete a college application require the same levels of judgment, organization, collaboration, leadership and initiative that make for a strong college experience. Now is the time for students to refine those skills by practicing them and receiving constructive feedback that allows them to reflect, regroup and try again if necessary.

A regularly scheduled weekly meeting to discuss college application issues in high school and transition issues in college, typically around 20 to 30 minutes, provides a healthy avenue of reliable support and structure your student can count on. There will be ample opportunities to take steps to support your child in this process, but as is the case with almost every parental duty, the vital steps are to listen more than speak and to love the child you have, not the child you want.

Cultural and technological advances have created opportunities for students that were difficult to imagine even a handful of years ago, yet this abundance of choice seems to have brought new levels of hesitation, doubt and stress for many young people. Our work as admissions professionals -- as educators in our own right -- is to do everything we can to clear the field of opportunity of as many of those doubts as possible, and provide each student with the opportunity to realize the very best in themselves, in others, and in the world they will help shape.

Bill Conley

Vice president for enrollment management

Bucknell University

Bob Herr

Vice president for enrollment management and dean of college admissions

Drew University

Jody Chycinski

Associate vice president and director of admissions

Grand Valley State University

Deren Finks

Dean of admissions emeritus

Harvey Mudd College

Laurie Koehler

Vice president, marketing and enrollment strategy

Ithaca College

Greg MacDonald

Vice president, enrollment management

Lafayette College

Ken Anselment

Dean of admissions and financial aid

Lawrence University

John Ambrose

Interim executive director of admissions and recruitment

Michigan State University

Robert Springall

Vice president for enrollment management

Muhlenberg College

Gregory Mitton

Associate dean of admission/director of financial aid

Muhlenberg College

Gerri Daniels

Executive director, admissions

Northern Michigan University

J. Carey Thompson

Vice president for enrollment and communications, dean of admission

Rhodes College

Heath Einstein

Director of admission

Texas Christian University

Angel Perez

Vice president, enrollment and student success

Trinity College

Matt Malatesta

Vice president for admissions financial aid and enrollment

Union College, N.Y.

Clark Brigger

Executive director of admissions

University of Colorado Boulder

Don Bishop

Associate vice president for undergraduate enrollment

University of Notre Dame

Jim Rawlins

Director of admissions/assistant vice president for enrollment management

University of Oregon

Eric Furda

Dean of admissions

University of Pennsylvania

Gil Villanueva

Associate vice president and dean of admission

University of Richmond

Timothy Brunold

Dean of admission

University of Southern California

Andrew Wright

Vice president for enrollment management

University of Southern Indiana

Jeffery Gates

Senior vice president for student life and enrollment management

Utica College

Raymond Brown

Vice president for enrollment

Valparaiso University

Applying For College—The Quick Version

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It never fails. You run wonderful, detailed workshops, lunch talks, and seminars on the benefits of college throughout junior year, but it’s only now that a couple (dozen) seniors realize that maybe, just maybe, they should start thinking about life after high school. Now, when you are up to your ears in schedule changes, new students, 504s and other duties as assigned.

Fear not. Reassure those coming late to the party there’s plenty for them to do, email them this information, and have them set up an appointment to see you once things have settled down a little. They can tell Mom they really did meet with you, they also can catch up a little, and you get a minute to try and remember your middle name. Everyone wins.

What is college? Most people think of college as a four-year experience, but that’s not the case at all. Take a look at these college options; some may surprise you.

How do I choose my college path? Many students start their college path by focusing on what they want to do for a living, and your counselor can help you with career exploration. Take a look at this information. Other students will choose their path by completing a college search that includes factors like college major, location, size, and cost. Some of these searches are limited to 2- and 4-year colleges, to keep that in mind. One of those searches is here.

Be ready for college The single best for a successful time in college is to make the most out of your learning experiences in and out of the classroom. Use every assignment to sharpen your study skills, and use your time after school to learn more about yourself and the world around you. Take a peek.

Visit college campuses This is going to be your new home, so you need to make sure it feels right—and no two colleges are the same. Use this as your guide for making a successful visit.

Prepare for and take either the SAT or ACT Not all colleges require you to take a test as part of the admissions process, but many four-year colleges do. It’s wise to know what you’ll be tested on, so take a look at this advice.

Apply to college This is usually easier than you think, since most colleges don’t ask for essays or teacher letters of recommendation. That’s right—most students only need 20 minutes to apply to college. No matter what the application asks for, try this site for help:

Apply for financial aid You’ll most likely need your parents’ help to do this, and you sometimes have to complete more than one form, but it’s worth it.

Apply for scholarships Private scholarships can help pay for college, but keep in mind that lots of students are applying for them. Try this.

Choose your college Once you know where you’ve been accepted, and how much aid each college will offer, it’s time to choose the college that offers the right mix of challenge, opportunity, and support. Take a look here.

 Stay in touch with your college Once you tell the college you’re coming, they will be in touch over the summer with lots of information. Keep checking email and snail mail, or you may lose your spot in college. Take a peek.

Ask for help once you get to college College is a different place, with different rules and different resources all designed to help you. The key is to keep asking for help until you get it! Try this.

Commencement 2024

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Graduates, congratulations. Finishing high school has never been easy, even when it’s just the usual twists and turns of making it through 9th grade PE with your self-esteem intact and surviving senior prom. In your case, the ride has had a few more challenges, and still, here you are.

Many commencement speeches offer advice about the life that awaits you, and how you should manage it—but you’ve already kind of been there and done that. Many of you started with some online variation of high school during the height of COVID, where learning occurred online, in person, or both. But you kept at it, the masks and the days at home eventually receded, and school became school again.

I’d like to say that was the end of it for you, but not quite. For many of you, going back to school was either weird—because you hadn’t really been to high school yet—or hard, because, for you, COVID brought changes to more than just the way you went to high school.

Despite all that, today is upon us, with you here in all your glory—and make no mistake, you are glorious. You cut up frogs in Biology, learned (then forgot) what a rhombus is, wondered what the big deal was with Hester Prynne, and, with any luck, had a teacher explain the history of the Supreme Court’s quill pens. As you sit here, you’re pretty sure none of this will be of help with your life, since you have no plans to be a biologist, mathematician, adulterer, or attorney. Since COVID taught you the lessons Commencement addresses tackle— don’t look for hard times, persist if they should find you, know you will emerge with a clearer sense of self—I’ll skip those, and allow me to decode the other stuff for you.

You cut up frogs to see how things work, and how seemingly unrelated things affect each other in ways you can’t possibly imagine. You investigate these seemingly unplausible things in life to make sure they’re real. I can’t think of a better skill to have when handling the politics of a workplace, or the laundromat in a college residence hall. Take nothing for granted.

You learned what a rhombus was to discover it is neither a square nor a rectangle, even though it shares properties of both. Seeing the sameness and difference of things at the same time—and respecting both-- is arguably the most important skill you will need in life, especially during an election year. Be steadfast and steady in your pursuit of both. (And yeah—it’s a diamond.)

Hester Prynne had problems in part because of what she did, but more because of who she hung out with. Move The Scarlet Letter to Walden Pond, and there’s nothing to see. Keep that in mind if peers make you think twice about the right thing to do, or who you are. Change is a natural part of life, as long as the desire to do so is genuine and from within. Remember that when drinking—and other things—call.

The 1700s Supreme Court supplied quill pens so attorneys could take notes. This stopped being useful, but the quill pens are still handed out, so attorneys have a souvenir of their big day in court. Change is sometimes glacial, and with unintended consequences. Remember that, advocate for the practical, and leave ample room for the romantic. It matters.

You graduate today, knowing much about who you are, and how to become even more of who you are. That’s a great way to commence.