College Planning Guide for Your Students

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Graduate school didn’t talk about a lot of what happens when you’re a school counselor. I’ve well documented the abhorrent lack of training in college counseling, something I’ve pointed out for 40 years which is still no better today. But there are other things.

Like 2 AM.

 It doesn’t prepare you for the middle of the night, when you remember that last thing you forgot to do at the office, or remind yourself of the thing you nearly forgot to remember to do first thing tomorrow. Or the solution to a long-standing problem.

That’s what faced me at one particular 2 o’clock in the morning, a million years ago. After working in four public schools with ridiculous caseloads, where I was a school counselor for everything, I’d secured a job at a private school, where I only did college counseling, and had a caseload that was a different kind of ridiculous—so small, it would be impolite to mention it.

Having had the chance to make sure my students were truly making college choices that were great for them, I now knew what I should have done at my previous institutions. I should have written a book, in really short chapters, that explained the basics of a good college choice. I would have given it to all my students as entering ninth graders, then give them a reading assignment before seeing each of them individually. No more repeating how to register for the SAT. Truly tailored counseling, based on individual needs, strengths, and interests.

I wrote the book anyway, and promoted it to my counseling colleagues as a way to make their huge caseloads more manageable. The counselors who bought into the idea said it worked. Short chapters keep students’ attention, and let them cut to the chase when looking for an answer—as fast as AI, but better, since the advice didn’t come from Out There, but from a real counselor. Parents found it easy to read, and gave them a roadmap on how to talk to their student about college. It even helped answer teachers’ questions about how to talk to students about college.

It’s Spring 2026 now, the time when your students start thinking about college—and I’d like to help. The book is in its third iteration, still relevant, still short, still with the same goal—give them a general idea about what college could be about, then leaving it up to them—and you—to fill in the details.

But here’s something to help you even more. I can get the books at less than half of cost, including shipping, so you can give them to your students. Orders have to be a minimum of 100, but at this price, this is something you could ask the PTA to fund, or the Elks Club, or your local college access group. Students get some early ideas about what college is all about. You get a chance to talk to students about their plan, not a plan, making your caseload seem that much smaller.

And what do I get? At this price, nothing. I make no money from the sale of any book at this price.

OK, I do get something. I get to know I helped you help your students.

I’d welcome the chance for us to talk about this. Contact me here.

Choosing a College? There’s Only One Key Question

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s called horserace coverage, a term coined by journalists who cover elections. Horserace coverage stories are all about who’s ahead, who’s behind, and what are people going to do about that. It’s too bad this happens, because the really interesting part of the story is behind the numbers—why did people make the choices they made, and now that the choices have been made, what will they do next?

Horserace coverage is one of the many, many, many things that have been incorporated into college admissions that simply shouldn’t be there. Every spring, we are besieged with stories that, all in all, contribute nothing to the important work of young people deciding what their lives will look like after high school. If anything, these stories increase the likelihood that students will make decisions about their futures that are based on useless intelligence. Susie got into a college where the admit rate is less than getting struck by lightning? Well then, by all means, she needs to go there, since she is one of the chosen few.

I am one of those old school dogs who still believes that college choice is less about the college and more about, you know, the student. Admission gimmicks like Early Decision, Early Action, and Single Choice Early Action Do The Hokey Pokey are all designed to benefit the college. Still, there are some institutions where students who don’t play the Early game greatly handicap their chances of admission, so they have no choice but to give up at least part of the last summer of their precious youth to developing college admission “strategies” (another admissions aspect that has no business existing) in order to keep their options open—and, more important, keep their dreams alive.

All that stops today, as the final round of admissions decisions are released. For at least a couple of days, students can shed the weight of the odds, the rumors, and the scuttlebutt, and focus on the only thing that has really mattered—what’s next. Since they have been shouldered with excessive armor of all kinds since that last happened, here’s how to help them focus on the big, and only real, picture, as they consider the rest of their lives:

Review your list. All of it. At some point, you built a final list of colleges to apply to. Pull it out, and take at least five full minutes to look at the whole thing. This includes any colleges you’ve already heard from, including the ones who may have said no. Look, and think, about all of them.

Get behind the list. Once you’ve refreshed your memory of the entire list, ask yourself, Why these colleges? There’s a good chance you had different reasons to add some schools, which is both typical and more than OK. Remembering why is important.

Dump the strategic ones. Any schools you put on just because they were “safeties”, or because Mom and Dad wanted you to, or because your fall girlfriend applied there, are out. You want to keep one? Think of a quality of that college that appeals to you. Otherwise, buh-bye.

Now think qualities. Good college choices are based on what the college embodies. You like your best friend because they’re funny, approachable, and a good listener. What qualities exist at each of these colleges that make them as good a fit for you as your best friend?

The final question. Which of these colleges would be your best new best friend?

Do this, and your choice — and you — will be the winner. By a mile.

More Important Than College

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

The start of a basketball game is pretty standard. A player from each team meets in the middle of the court, where a referee throws the ball high in the air. Each player then jumps to tap the ball to a member of their team, and off they go.

So it was clear something was up at the Senior Night of a high school girls’ game when the player for the visiting team didn’t jump for the ball when the game started. The home team player tapped the ball to a teammate, who dutifully passed the ball to another teammate, who then threw the ball to a teammate waiting under the basket. A nice soft shot off the backboard, and the score was 2-0.

The unusual start of the game continued when the referee then blew his whistle, something that doesn’t typically occur after a basket is scored. This was necessary, since the player who scored the basket left the game—as soon as someone handed her a pair of crutches. The scorer was the only home team player who was a senior, and even though playing seemed out of the question, there was a desire to make Senior Night special for her in some way. Thanks to some advanced planning, and the support of the visiting team’s coach, that was possible. She left the court with two points, a warm ovation, and a memory that will last a lifetime.

And then. Having given the home team a head start, the visiting team passed the ball down the court to another member of their team, who then made an easy shot-- all while the members of the home team stood passively in the middle of the court. Once that was achieved, the score was again tied, and the level of competition between the two teams could ascend to a new level.

This remarkable display of sportsmanship— sportswomanship—has been seen before. A softball player blew out her knee rounding first base after hitting a home run. If a member of her team had touched her, she’d be out; leading a player on the other team to ask if she could touch her opponent. Once she got the green light, she and a teammate carried the batter to the remaining three bases, touching each of them lightly, so she could earn her home run.

Lest you think this is limited to women’s athletics, a friend tells me this occurs in men’s professional soccer all the time. Despite what some may think, soccer is a pretty fast game, and referees typically make more than a few mistakes every match, simply because they don’t see every aspect of some of the plays. When their rulings seem particularly egregious, players take the matter in their own hands, purposely kicking the ball out of bounds, or to the other team, so that true justice can be done.

As a college counselor, I read many, many, many college essays about sports being a metaphor for life, each experience having great value to the author of the essay. These essays are said to carry little weight in college admissions offices, but as I’ve often said when the values of the real world aren’t reflected in reviewing a college application, who cares? The world suggests there are many goals that, at the end of the day, have real little value. Being true to self doesn’t often make the headlines, but it is vital for the student’s world—and our world—to spin true.

(And yes, they should likely write a new essay.)

College Still Matters? Why, Yes It Does

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s always reassuring when a report comes along confirming what your work as a counselor has told you all along, especially when it makes sense. That’s the case for a new report by College Access: Research and Action that takes a fresh look at the age old question—is college worth it?

You should read the report, but here are the spoilers:

• 75% of students surveyed still want to go to college and earn a degree.

• For first-generation and low-income students, there’s more to this desire than simply wanting to make more money.

• These same students have many more hurdles to overcome, so their decisions about college aren’t as clear cut as most policymakers assume.

At this point, you should feel free to sit back in your chair, and let out a big, “Duh”.

It’s certainly reassuring the study shows students want to keep learning—that’s the only way life and society get better. And it’s certainly true some students want to go to college for the economic opportunities it provides. Recent studies still show that, on average, a college degree holder can realize $1 million in additional income when compared to the person whose last credential is a high school diploma. It would seem that, while some employers are no longer requiring college degrees for some positions, they are giving preference to applicants with college degrees when it comes to actual hiring, since the Million Dollar Difference has been around for a couple of decades.

It’s also nice to see one of these reports going beyond the dollars and cents, and recognizing the value of a college education for something other than a paycheck. A college admission officer once asked a room of school counselors about their college experience—what do they most remember? It should come as no surprise they mentioned the friends they made, the experiences they had, and the way their lives changed. Paychecks were not mentioned by a single counselor. Neither were the classes they took.

That’s what’s been lost in this decades-old debate about the value of college. Policymakers and skittish parents look at the average loan balance graduates emerge with from college and see it as outrageous. But there are many decisions made that lead to debt—vacations, housing, cars, and more—that are seen as valuable for something more than their cost. At what point was it decided that college was supposed to be something other than life changing? (It’s also notable that all those “shocked” policymakers have yet to come up with a meaningful plan to alleviate all that debt, leading one to wonder how sincere their interest really is in the matter.)

As great as these parts of the report are, they pale in comparison to the conclusion that going to college isn’t the easy decision most policymakers assume it is. The factors involved aren’t new to school counselors:

• First-generation students may not have the advantage of having parents who value college, or if they do, understand the steps involved in applying.

• Combine this with low-income status, and a student’s ability to visit college campuses, attend summer programs on college campuses, or participate in dual enrollment can be significantly thwarted.

• Once at college, costs related to supplemental learning experiences may prevent them from fully participating.

• A disproportionate number of first-gen and low-income students attend schools with counselor ratios that prevent meaningful college guidance.

Many of the points in the report have been raised before. Still, this fresh look at the questions gives updated data to consider, and puts together three conclusions that don’t often end up in the same document.

What Does College Ready Look Like?

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Students sometimes wonder if they’re ready for college. If this is on the mind of your students, share this with them.

Sara came home from a softball game and was surprised to see her father’s car in the driveway. It was May, and that’s a busy time where he works, so he usually went back to the office after he watched her pitch, finished a little paperwork, and then headed home for dinner.

That day, he greeted his daughter in the kitchen. “Nice game, Ace!”

“Thanks, Daddy. Why are you home?”

He beamed at his eleventh-grade daughter and said, “I have a surprise. There’s an overseas community service project heading to a village in Haiti. They’ve opened a large orphanage in a remote area, and they need volunteers to watch the babies while the residents rebuild their homes.”

Sara peeled an orange while her father continued.

 “You’d be there four days, but you’d only be working two. You’d have two more days to sightsee. Your grades are strong and your pitching is great, but I think something like this could put you over the top at the colleges we’re applying to. The website for the project is up on your computer. What do you say?”

Sara continued to peel the orange. “Can we talk about it at dinner?”

Her father was a little deflated, but he smiled back. “Sure, honey. I’m going to run back to the office for a little bit, but I’ll see you at seven.”

Dad came through the kitchen door at 7:15 p.m. and quickly took his place at the table with the rest of the family. After more congratulations for Sara’s great game and a little razzing from younger brother John about Sara’s hair, her dad said, “So, how about Haiti?”

Sara put her fork down slowly and looked up. “It’s a great idea, Dad, but I looked on the website. Does this trip really cost six thousand dollars?”

Her father choked on his ice water while her mother gave him a long, cold stare.

“We can afford this, Sara,” he said, smiling faintly. “It’s about your future.”

Sara looked down at her placemat again and swallowed hard. “Well, I looked up the name of the town we’d be going to. It turns out Habitat for Humanity is working there, too. They need three thousand dollars for a new pump so the town can have fresh water again. I also called the Boys Club down on Wilson Street, and they said they could really use some help this summer.

“I sure appreciate the offer, Daddy, but don’t you think it would be better if I stayed here, and we sent three thousand dollars to Habitat for Humanity? That way, the town would have fresh water forever, John could get that new computer he needs, we’d have a little money left over for college, and I would still be making a difference in the world. It would just be a difference in my own neighborhood.”

Sara’s mother did a very bad job of chewing nonchalantly, and John tried to wipe tears out of his eyes in a fourteen-year-old macho fashion. Her father’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled almost to himself.

“Yeah, honey,” he said. “That’s a great idea.”

Sara is now a senior, waiting to hear from her colleges. But the question you should be asking isn’t, “Where will she get in?”

The question to consider is does it really matter?

Counseling Ratios Are Down. That’s Good—Right?

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

The school counseling profession got some good news this week. Following a years-long trend, the national student-counselor ratio dropped again last year, now standing at 372-1. While some states saw increases, the high school counselor range fell to 195-224, the first time it’s fallen within the ASCA recommended ratio of 250 to 1.

The benefits of a smaller ratio tend to speak for themselves. Fewer students on a caseload tends to mean more time with each student on a caseload, as well as more time to develop group guidance activities, outreach to parents, and creation of a counseling curriculum. Given the significant increase for mental health counseling since COVID, these innovations go a long way to meeting the needs families have come to count on counselors to fulfill.

This good news is certainly cause to celebrate, but it is also a time to exercise some caution:

Middle school and elementary ratios It’s not hard to do the math here—if high school ratios are below the national average of 372, that means middle and elementary school ratios are way above the national average. Given the joyous nature of young children, it’s hard to see why schools don’t understand the need for counselors in younger grades. It’s time to keep singing that song.

Beware of cuts, Part One You can bet counselors aren’t the only ones noticing the drop in ratios. That means school administrators may be looking at this and thinking, geez, if we have fewer students, maybe we can live with fewer counselors. If you have a retiree or departing counselor in your midst, make sure you keep a close eye on efforts to replace them. Otherwise, your ratios go right back up.

Beware of cuts, Part Two The other way counseling departments get cut is by administrators deciding there are more non-professional duties counselors can do, now that they have all this “free time”. There’s always one time of year when extra duties are doled out. If you don’t know when that is, see if you can find out, and make sure you aren’t on the list for getting an extra helping of bus duty.

Develop something tangible I get it—the first thing you want to do as a counselor is better serve your students. To most counselors, this means more individual services and meetings, an idea that makes perfect sense; since growth in life is individual, plans for growth in life should be individual, too.

That said, it’s important to remember public perception of counselors is mixed at best, and that’s largely due to the nature of our work. We can’t exactly send an email blast to all families saying, “And this week in the counseling office, Josephine overcame her shyness, Bill finally quit smoking, and Steve and Julie patched up their broken relationship.” On the other hand, if we don’t make some effort at promoting the work we do, it’s sometimes perceived as mysterious, and support for that work diminishes—and, as a result, so does the emotional and fiscal support we receive.

One way to meet this need is program development. Since a recent survey showed less than a third of public high schools had a college counseling curriculum, now might be the time to use some of this ratio reduction to create guidance structures everyone can see and take advantage of. The bonus here is that this strengthened curriculum means less time in individual meetings discussing general issues, and more time focusing on individual student needs. If you’re looking for a college counseling curriculum that’s good to go, try this one.