Beating the August Counselor Blues

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Let’s face it — August is not the best time to be a school counselor. New students need help feeling grounded, particularly the ones who feel they don’t need any help feeling grounded. Well-meaning parents new to your school were sure they could just show up the first day of school to register their kids. Middle- and high-school counselors are trying to remember just why schedule changes are their responsibility, and high school counselors are being besieged — before school starts — with parents saying “She applied to college yesterday. Why haven’t you sent their transcript?”

It would be too easy to try and comfort you by saying “This will all be different in three weeks”, but that really doesn’t help, since three weeks is, well, three weeks away. You need some relief now, so here goes:

You’re doing things you weren’t trained to do. There are hundreds of counselor training programs in this country, and not one — Not. One. — shows you how to do schedule changes, or how to register students. There’s a reason for this. This isn’t part of your job.

Remembering this can be oddly healing, since there’s always a sense of satisfaction being right. If you throw it in with lunch duty and bus supervision, you can see these first days’ tasks as a chance to get to know the students and help you build relationships. “Did you go to any concerts this summer?” “I’ve been at work too much — what’s going on with TikTok these days?”, and the usual comments about the teams they’re on can help you (and them) get past the fact that these tasks are mundane, making your time with them much more valuable — especially if you have to say no to the schedule change that would give them lunch with their girlfriend.

You were just on vacation. Summer counseling duties vary greatly, but with some effort, most counselors can remember back to the end of July, when your only concern was moving your backyard hammock around to keep out of the sun. Everyone, from counselors to business folks to artists, have a tough time engaging in reentry to their workspace. Keeping a few photos handy on your phone of vacation, the family reunion, or the perfect peach cobbler you finally conquered gives you the opportunity to peek at them between students to remember your personhood, and that can really help.

Don’t look ahead. Do ahead. It doesn’t really help all that much to say “Once this is over, I can do some real counseling”, since that just makes you more impatient for that day to arrive. Instead, take a few minutes at home to draw up half-a-dozen five-minute activities you can do at the office that you’ll actually use once it’s time for real counseling. Will you be visiting ninth grade classes to introduce yourselves? Take five minutes to review (or prepare) a slide deck you’ll be using. Meeting with seniors to discuss post-high school plans? Review the senior meeting sheet to make sure it’s up to date. Sneaking these activities between August student meetings isn’t planning; it’s doing, and that reminds you why you became a counselor in the first place.

Think Labor Day. The start of your school year isn’t after Labor Day anymore, but you still get three days of summer this weekend. When the next student comes in with the Lame Schedule Change Excuse of the Century, take a mental break to envision the mini-summer that’s coming up. See yourself sleeping in, poolside, or next to a plate full of grilled brats and grandma’s deviled eggs. It works.

College Applications

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Most students balk at filling out college applications because they view it as the first step towards leaving home. That's easy to see; this is the place where you listen to your music, text message long after your parents have gone to bed, do a little homework, and think about your life. The world outside has changed and challenged you, sometimes in ways you didn't like or didn't completely master — but at the end of the day, you came home to sort out what it all meant, and looked forward to what came next. Giving this place up won't be easy.

The good news is the colleges that are right for you will feel just like home. It may be in the dorm rooms, it may be at the library (hey, it happens), it may be the whole campus — but somewhere at those colleges, there is a spot waiting for you to reflect on the challenges of life, wonder about the possible, and text your BFFs ’til dawn. Once you think about college as your next home, completing the applications will be as easy as taking the written exam for your driver's license, because both are just the paperwork that leads to a greater sense of freedom. In the end, going to college isn't about leaving home — it's about taking home with you.

The second thing I would do is replace students' earbuds with soundproof headphones. Some students hit the brakes because of outside opinions about their college choices. The application to a college a student loves often heads to the shredder when a well-meaning neighbor asks "Where is that college?", or Uncle Bob reports the college is nowhere to be found in the recently published rankings. If it turns out no other student at the local high school is applying to this college, this can become a trifecta for trauma.

So make the mature choice and be selfish. You know who you are and what you want in a college — if college selection were a term paper, you’d have about 25 sources to quote and 3000 file cards to synthesize by now. Knowing what you know about college and yourself, it's important to keep the well-meaning insights of others in perspective — some may know you, some may know colleges, but very few (except your parents) will know both as well as you do.

Everyone on your first grade soccer team got a trophy for participating, and choosing colleges works the same way — with self-knowledge and college knowledge, everyone gets a best college, even if what's best for you is different from what's best for everyone else.

At this time of year, it's easy for seniors to think it's gonna take a miracle to get into college. You've worked too hard to believe in things that you don't understand. Instead, remember what home means to you, stay focused on what you've learned about college and yourself, and your college applications will go flying out the door so quickly, you'll realize the miracle is you.

So pick up the pen, and pass the cheese doodles. You can do this.

 

First Client, Last Client

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

My first client didn’t mean to, but she taught me everything I needed to know about being a college counselor. She had made the most out of what she could with a limited rural school curriculum, her great grades, limited scores, and, as I recall, a national and international title as a powerlifter. My job was to sign the application and send out the transcript. She was admitted to her first-choice school in October. After that, our relationship was a series of encounters in the hallways, when she kindly waved and smiled whenever our paths crossed.

That’s really the way it’s supposed to be for every student. I never met her before twelfth grade, and never had a chance to “shape” her extracurricular “portfolio” (I still don’t know what that means). She showed up to ninth grade, studied what she wanted to study, lifted seriously massive objects because it was fun, and found a college that said “That sounds great to us, come on down.” At that time, and at that school, kids drove the postsecondary bus, and thought enough about life after high school to put together a good plan, all without test prep, private counselors, or parents who lost sleep about it all.

I wish I could say that about everywhere I worked, but it’s a little tough to work in American suburbs without becoming a victim of America’s obsession with name colleges. One school was ripe with nouveau riche middle managers of a local car manufacturer. Their version of college counseling was getting their student in the best state school, since it was a name institution, and especially since it was a bargain. Building lists based on student interests and ability was anathema — my job was to “work my magic” with State U’s admissions officers, just like all good college counselors did, I guess.

In time, that part of the job seemed to overtake most of the other work, until my last employer made it clear there wasn’t room in their college counseling program for an approach where the first question I asked students was “So, what’s next?”

I got an October call from a former student, now a mom, who had supported my work in many ways over the years. One of her kids was transferring colleges, and only needed help with essays — so, was I up for a Zoom call? Too many recent essay sessions had students expecting to take dictation from me — but this Mom had been a friend in the trenches, so I succumbed to a 45-minute session.

75 minutes later, I remembered why I went into college counseling. She brought ideas, themes, and questions, and responded to my comments with questions and challenges of her own. She clearly had the answer to “what’s next” in her soul, and wanted to know the best way to express it. That had been my job all along, and getting to do it one last time — the last time — was a gift beyond measure.

Eight weeks later, I got a text saying she had been admitted as a transfer student in a tough applicant pool to the same college those McMansion parents coveted — but she wasn’t applying to some name school for a name diploma. She was on her way to life’s next steps, and providing what little help I did left a glow that stays with me this day.

Thank you, dear God, for this good life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough. 

Staying in Touch This Summer

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

A wise principal once told me how funny he thought it was when parents said June was the month when schools wrapped things up. “We don’t wrap things up” he said, “we run off a cliff.”

It sure feels like that this year. With colleges making all kinds of changes in admissions policies, the inside of our work continues to get more school specific. With policy changes and programmatic cuts, support systems for our work—especially in the federal government—are changing daily.

All this is to say that, for those of us who get a summer that is supposed to be restorative, there is a challenge this summer. On the one hand, we need the rest, and the salmon river, pile of books, and RVs are calling our names like never before. On the other hand, if we close the office door and vow not to open it until mid-August, we could be begging for a deluge of changes we won’t be prepared for.

How do we handle these seemingly opposite callings? By doing what counselors do best—being all things to all people.

Admissions offices changes Barely a day went by in the school year without a college announcing they were heading back to requiring the SAT, or that they were adding an essay, or or or. That’s the kind of information counselors need to swallow one small bit at a time during the school year, since you’re building lists with underclassmen, and you’re making sure the lists you developed with seniors are still relevant.

That’s a little different in the summer. Yes, your rising seniors have college lists that need to be kept current; on the other hand, does it really matter all that much if you find out Cornell has a new testing policy on July 16th rather than the 12th? When it comes to checking office contacts, once a week (fortnight?) should more than do the trick. If a student reaches out with information that, in your opinion (not theirs) is urgent, you can certainly take action. But letting them know when and how you’re staying in touch with the office can build their expectations in ways that are healthy for you and for them. 

Government and agency policy changes The federal government has a reputation for slowing things down during the summer as well, and it’s safe to say that the tempest of cutthroat reform that started in the Department of Education in February has slowed to a trickle now, thanks in part to court rulings that funding promised by Congress can only be removed by Congress.

This means you don’t have to spend your summer listening to the latest news updates at the top of every hour—in fact, it likely means you can cut your ration of news updates to one a week and learn everything you need to know for the summer. Since most funding changes affect districts, year-round employees are around to stay on top of whatever updates may occur—and if they need you, they know where to get hold of you.

The only possible area you need to stay focused on is financial aid, but that’s been remarkably stable so far. Find one good source to check weekly , and you’ll be able to help seniors stay focused on their college transition.

Counselors are exceptionally good at keeping students first, and that matters—but so does having the perspective and energy to do this task with purpose. Staying in touch with trends without driving yourself crazy this summer is manageable, even after this incredibly unique school year.

College Isn’t for Everyone? Um…

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

The legislative hearings were focusing on a very simple idea — in order to graduate from high school, a student would either have to complete the FAFSA, or fill out a form saying they’d thought about it and they didn’t see any reason to fill out the FAFSA, so they’re waiving the requirement. Testimony was running the way it usually does; advocates were saying many students and families didn’t know enough about financial aid to make an informed decision, so the FAFSA could help them better understand what they were getting into. Those opposed were saying this would be an intrusion on privacy, and create a bottleneck in school counselor offices.

And then along came a new argument, on made by a counselor in a tone that was so hesitant, it was as if they were apologizing for advancing it in the first place.

“We have to think about the kids who aren’t going to college” she said. “Do we really want to give them one more reason to feel bad about themselves?”

I thought about that question today, as I read the first of what is sure to be a number of articles that always come out this time of year that address the of going to college. In the past I’ve read these articles hoping they would address the mindset students have about life after high school — that what they choose to do is based on careful consideration of their talents, their interests, their vocational interests, their performance in school to date, and their resources. Taking on the question of “what’s next” seems daunting and abstract to tenth graders, and with good reason — they may not have thought about it before. But, if nothing else, a well-put-together college counseling program breaks that abstract question into manageable chunks, laying a little of both the foundation and the scaffolding each student needs to build by the start of senior year to pronounce their foundation for the future as solid, even though it may not be permanent.

Instead, I got more of the same inference I get from these articles — they insist that yes, it is more than OK for students not to go to college, often in an argument that assures us they can still make a living and contribute to society without a college degree. Yet, more often than not, and despite their best efforts, every one of these articles accepts the assumption that college is the normal choice, and not going is therefore abnormal; that students passing up college are rolling the dice at some level, making their lives unstable from this day forward.

That’s pretty scary, since it suggests that more than a few school counselors are presenting their life-after-high-school curriculum with a built-in bias, one that assumes life, at some corner, awaits nothing but worst for a student who doesn’t go to college. If that weren’t the case — if the counselor who was giving this testimony really didn’t feel that way —then every student would get to senior year with confidence in their choice and in their future. To them, saying “no thanks” to the FAFSA is like saying no to anchovies on a pizza. Anchovies may be right for someone else, but it’s just not their thing. Next.

This is the time of year many counselors review their curriculum to make sure next year’s students are even better served. When it comes to postsecondary counseling, let’s make sure we aren’t seeing students who say no to college as vulnerable or incomplete. It’s more likely your postsecondary curriculum is incomplete, so focus on fixing that instead.

Real College Counseling Season Begins Now—And Is in Trouble

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

There is a sense most of the college counseling world goes on hiatus after May 1. Not every college requires a May 1 deposit anymore, but there is still this feeling most of the decision making and form completing is done, and all that’s really left is to fill out the end-of-the-year college selection reports and get ready to enjoy an afternoon or two of mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers on the patio of a grateful senior.

Oh, if it were only true.

Eric Hoover gave the field a wake-up call with this piece, a rare but important look at the way college counseling works for too many students—an approach that has little to do with essay coaches or prioritizing activity lists. In the real world, where most parents are hesitant to send kids to college (largely because they haven’t gone themselves), forms that were due in December are now just being started, and families that managed to persist in completing financial aid forms have many questions, but aren’t asking them. High school counselors—and these tend to be the high school counselors who are in charge of everything, including getting students across the graduation stage—find themselves running out of time chasing down students who have outstanding paperwork, or who come to the office with a college’s request for proof of citizenship in order to qualify for financial aid. 

If you’ve ever had to follow this paper trail, you know it makes Alice’s adventure down the rabbit hole seem predictable to the point of being boring—and remember, these are students whose parents didn’t go to college, who have doubts about their kids going to college. It’s not going to take much for them to give up and send Jimmy to the local sandwich shop for a job application.

This typically makes May and June that much harder for counselors, families, and students from urban, rural, and low-income communities—and this weekend, it got even harder. As part of their efforts to downsize the Federal government, the Trump administration cut all remaining funding for AmeriCorps for the rest of the fiscal year. These grants tend to go directly from the federal government to the states, which then distribute funding to needy schools and organizations. This money includes funding for AmeriCorps workers in high schools who assist high school counselors in the college section process, doing some, if not most, of the work with many students whose families have no history in college attendance or financial aid.

If there is any, the good news is that the funds are being cut with about a month left in the financing cycle—so any schools who want to find money to keep their AmeriCorps counselors on payroll have less of a burden. On the other hand, it likely means a lot—and I mean a lot—of AmeriCorps high schools will have to send those counselors home for a week or two before they find an alternative funding source—and graduation is just a week or two away as it is. Some states are suing the Federal government for the money, and past practice suggests they’ll win—but again, that takes time, and that’s the one thing in short supply here.

So, the Land of Opportunity that promises all things are available to all citizens are, in essence, telling families with no money or college experience they’re going to have to do without. Not quite what we’d hoped for last fall, or what the Founding Fathers hoped for. Here’s hoping the courts can limit the damage.

The Final Exam of Choosing a College

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Now that you’ve narrowed your choices, there are three final questions to ask:

Are you in love with what the college has to offer, or with what the college stands for? Once a college admits you, they will call you day and night, send you email hourly, and text you in the middle of math class. One college even went so far as to send every admitted student a disposable cell phone, so the college knew they could get through to every student.

Some of this may be helpful—if you get a call from a student studying your major, great—but many of these communications are just designed to give you a feel or glow for the college that can cloud your judgement, not clear it. The same is true for financial aid packages; on student picked a school just because they gave him a $600 grant and called it an honors scholarship. That makes the school a little less expensive – but does it make it right for you?

The college you say yes to will be thrilled to have you, and that’s important—but you won’t be getting hourly texts once you hit campus and the school mascot wont be escorting you to class every day. Classes, studying, doing laundry will take up about 150 of your college days very year, while home football games will take up about six. This is your new home—make sure your choice about that home is on a solid foundation.

Should you start locally and transfer? If money is tight, consider starting at a local community college or four-year institution where you can commute, live at home for a while, then transfer to your dream school to finish. You’ll have to work very closely every semester with an adviser *at the college you are transferring to* to make sure your classes will transfer for the degree you want, but if this means less stress, less loans, and more of a chance to afford your final two years at the place you really want to be, it’s worth considering.

It’s time to deposit, and you just can’t decided between your schools. Is it OK to deposit at more than one school at a time? No. 

Consider this. You decide to enroll at a college that has small classes, which you really like. You head to class on the first day, only to discover that 30 students double deposited—they told more than one school they’d be going there in the fall. All 30 of these students decided not to come to your college, and they just told the college the day before. It’s too late for the college to go to their waitlist, so those seats are now empty, and so is their budget. They cancel classes, lay off teachers they suddenly can’t afford, and put students in classes of 100. SO much for the education you had hoped for.

Telling lots of schools yes with a deposit is like saying yes to 10 prom dates—you might get more time to choose, but it hurts lots of people in the process, including you. Students stay on waitlists for no reason, colleges schedule classes that won’t have enough students, and parents lose deposits that could go towards textbooks—or retirement.

It’s great to have options, but the band is playing, and it’s time to dance. Size up your partners, pick the one that will get you across the dance floor with the right balance of support and excitement, and move to the music of the future—your future.

Tariffs and Tuition

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s been a while, but there was one summer when colleges decided to raise their tuitions pretty significantly, without much fanfare. This was a summer of computer upgrades, coffee bars, rock walls, and lazy rivers, when colleges decided they needed to improve their social atmospheres and their academic backbones all at once—and the results weren’t pretty. Tuition increases of ten, twelve, even eighteen percent weren’t uncommon, and since budgets for financial aid didn’t get a similar boost, many students who thought they were set with their first choice either discovered new levels of debt to stay where they were, or the need to shift to Plan B at the last minute.

At first blush, the current discussion of tariffs suggests colleges have little to worry about, since most tariff issues are between countries. But a closer look shows there are serious consumer issues—and colleges are, like all of us, consumers. Tariff increases on fruit make the cost of maintaining the salad bar at its current glorious level a little harder. Cars used to get admissions officers around town and to high school visits have to be replaced every few years, and they are the target of some of the highest tariffs. The cost of turning classroom lights on, running the football scoreboard, and paying faculty enough to afford the increased cost of food means tariffs can play a significant role in tuition-setting this summer, something that’s usually done after students have made their college decisions, assuming prices will pretty much go up about as much as they did last year—but there’s no guarantee.

What should families do to be as ready as possible for the effects of tariffs on tuition? Try these:

Call your first choice college Not every college will have their tuition and fee schedules set for next year, but if parents are worried about tariffs, college are too—they don’t want to teach to empty classrooms with just a handful of deposits to show for it. Start with the financial aid office, and see where the discussion goes from there.

Watch out for specialty increases It’s not uncommon for colleges to put greater increases on specific sub pools of populations, especially when it comes to residency status. Community colleges typically pass higher increases on to residents outside their service area, as do many public four-year colleges to out-of-state students—and nearly everyone loves to gouge international students, who somehow have an established reputation as having an endless flow of cash. Increases in everything from special supply majors (think paint and clay for studio art majors) to fees for student activities (increases in costs related to athletics) have been reasons in the past for asking for more money. Watch carefully.

Keep Plan B open as long as possible Most counselors, including me, are pretty adamant about students committing to just one college by the time May 1 comes around. The reason for this is simple—you can only go to one college, so telling two you’re going to show up increases the chances one of them is going to be teaching to an empty seat.

That advice doesn’t usually change, but if you end up with one college you can no longer afford, and no place else to go, that doesn’t really solve anything. Review your college list to see if they all require a commitment or deposit—not all do—and keep those options as open as possible. It’s also likely colleges may offer advice on how to approach this challenge, so keep an eye on email and snail mail—and proceed with caution.