I’ve likely told you this story before, but, evidently, it bears repeating.
A 10th-grade boy comes bounding out of the classroom when the bell rings and heads straight to the counseling office. “I know exactly what I want to do with my life. I want to go to college, and become a disc jockey.”
You ready?
The counselor responds thusly. “That just goes to show what you know. You don’t have to go to college to become a disc jockey, and that’s a good thing in your case, because you aren’t college material.”
To be fair, this was a while ago, part of those days when, much as we hate to admit it, many counselors weren’t really counselors, but teachers tired of the classroom, and too tired for the classroom. Since then, many licenses and certifications exist to make sure school counselors understand they are not in the business of dispensing personal, um, wisdom, but instead are in the business of human development. The work isn’t about the counselor; it’s about the counselee.
I’m sorry to say I still hear about episodes like this, too often in the area of college counseling. Our nation’s obsession with Harvard plagues our profession as nothing else does. Suzie comes into our office in the hopes of finding a nice little college nearby so she can major in business and take her scrapbooking hobby public, and we put her through a labyrinth of college searching because we’re worried she can’t get into Brown. Suzie likely knows that. That’s why she hasn’t asked about Brown.
As a profession, our track record tends to be better, especially in human relationships and mental health. This makes sense, since the vast majority of counselor training programs are coursework in developmental psychology (often at the expense of college counseling, which is almost never taught as a separate specialty, even though it is). Given that bias, most counselors just seem to understand that, when a kid comes in our office with that look on their face that is neither happy nor sad, it’s time to grab the tissues, shut up, and listen.
But apparently, not always. A report from a middle school in Michigan indicates a student was having trouble with a class, and decided to do what he was encouraged to do—he went to go talk to a counselor.
You ready?
Once she heard of the problem, the counselor admits that her response, at least in part, was “I don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
If, at this very moment, you are asking yourself any of the following—“What was the student’s religion?”, “What did the student look like?”, “What was the student’s last name?”—let me respectfully suggest you find a new line of work, as should, in my opinion, this counselor. She apologized for the remark, and there has been a federal investigation into the incident.
The kid who wanted to be a disc jockey went on to college, and became a band director. He returned to his hometown to work as a teacher, starting a side business as a disc jockey, and taking night classes to get his master’s degree in counseling. He went on to become his hometown high school’s counselor…
You ready?
…replacing the counselor who told him he wasn’t college material.
Here’s hoping that middle school kid overcomes the adversity his counselor provided him, and thrives in the same way.
I understand the reason why professionals want to stop being called guidance counselors. Still, at times like this, it seems there are counselors who could use some serious guidance.
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