Real College Counseling

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

“In your book, you seem to suggest students should think about college as early as eighth grade. Doesn’t that approach just expose them that much sooner to the stress and expectations of a complex process that can take the joy out of learning?”

I could understand why the questioner seemed a little, well, hostile. She had spent a good part of her therapy career working with students and families who had gone about the college search the wrong way, the way the New York Times wants you to believe every student does, and therefore should, go about looking for a college. Apply to the ones that have impossibly low admit rates, requiring you to do all kinds of things to “stand out from the crowd” that you wouldn’t ordinarily do, and have no desire to do—but do those things so you can get into a college everyone (especially the New York Times) oohs and aahs about, not only making you someone the world respects simply because of where you went to college, but likely to make a boat load of money and/or become a Supreme Court justice to boot.

It had been a while since I was asked this question, so I stumbled a little at first, but ultimately righted myself and answered. “The purpose of education, especially high school, if it’s done well, is to come to understand more about yourself, the world around you, and the skill set and insights you need to make sense of the relationship between the two. If you make the most of the learning and living opportunities high school offers, both in and out of the classroom, you’ll get to the second half of junior year and say ‘Here’s where I am, here’s what I’ve learned about myself and life, and here’s where I think things should be headed next’. Do that, and any good college counselor can help you find colleges that will let you pursue your goals with the right mix of opportunity, challenge, and support.”

And that’s it. It isn’t about resume-building, about learning the bagpipes (usually) or spending thousands of dollars on a community service adventure that’s a glorified vacation. It’s about studying the social sciences long enough to see how public policy is born, and how much that intrigues you. It’s about studying chemistry long enough to understand if the fruits of titration lead you to say “OK, so if that’s true, what about…”

It’s about caring enough about what happens to Bayard Sartoris to consider making a living in literature, or if that glitch in your favorite online game is enough to make you learn programming to fix it. It’s about helping a distant relative bring in their corn crop, getting a fourth grader to understand why four times five is twenty, and learning enough about plumbing to decide if you’re going to own a set of wrenches, or pursue a vocation where you can afford someone with their own set of wrenches to do your plumbing for you.

It’s about not only understanding why Ukraine is fighting to remain Ukraine, but is managing to win, and why that matters to all of us. It’s about watching your Nana draw the finest of lines on an egg, and letting her show you how to do it, just as your Ukrainian ancestors have done for generations.

Mainstream media articles suggest you should apply to college to experience life’s futility. If you’ve done high school well, you are applying to college to appreciate life’s opportunities—and the sooner you embrace that outlook and engage in it, the better.

Predictions for 2025

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s always dangerous to put your January 1 ideas down in writing. If I had done so last year, I would have predicted a FAFSA nightmare, an election that would take our breaths away, and a very different landscape for college athletes.

Huh.

Well, since it looks like this water isn’t so shark-infested after all, here’s where I think 2025 is headed in our ever-quirky profession:

FAFSA Relief With so many College Board employees being “borrowed” last summer to fix FAFSA, there were concerns they’d head back to New York with the FAFSA keys in their back pockets, ready to make it a pay-to-play form.

Not so. Early trials suggest we’re in for a much better, maybe normal, year of FAFSA. Now the question is, what will the Department of Education do to win back the thousands (millions?) of students whose college plans were deconstructed because of last year’s debacle. Some kind of publicized outreach would be nice.

The End of ED Despite everyone’s hopes and/or fears, the US Department of Education isn’t going anywhere. The amount of programs for special needs students that would have to find a new home is just too huge to consider. So, while ED has never been the change agent it was intended to be, it won’t be a thing of the past.

What could happen is the weakening of ED by shipping key programs (FAFSA?) to other agencies and departments. This trick was performed by Michigan Republicans with the state department of education in the 1990s, and, respectfully, no one really noticed much of a change in the level of service. Moving programs makes for easier congressional votes (if any) than axing an entire division of government, since they get less press. Keep an eye out.

College Athletics There are two parts of colleges that have way too much adult involvement—college admissions, and college athletics. Drastic changes in pay-to-play have already given more power to grownups who don’t always have the best interest of athletes in mind, and small college athletic programs are likely to start feeling the pain of small wallets this year. This will affect how college counselors advise student athletes in high schools, even though counselors won’t have nearly enough information to read all the tea leaves, leaving the potential for bad choices, wrong choices, and unhappy parents. This could get ugly.

Media and College Access Birth rates, high school graduation rates, and some levels of college enrollment are all down, giving the Wall Street Journal et al a perfect opportunity to recognize that most college-going occurs outside the only 25 colleges they cover. Instead, look for more articles about how much easier it’s going to be to get into Harvard—as in, from an admit rate of 3 percent to, gasp, 7 percent. Because, you know, that suggests there’s a chance.

The best thing national media could do to advance college access is to recognize North Dakota State is a great place to go to school, too. Not this year.

Saluting Jon Boeckenstedt Jon’s work at DePaul and Oregon State changed college admissions for the better, as he used his position, data, and blog to get professionals to think about enrollment and life in ways we hadn’t before. He’s going into consulting this year, and the hope is he’ll continue to steer the ship to innovative waters from his home office. For now, the profession owes a huge debt to a guy who had the brains and heart to find the time to not just ask “What if…”, but to answer his own amazing questions. My friend, we thank you.

An Introduction to Junior Interviews

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s hard to believe counselors will be talking with juniors about college right after we get back from December break. If you’re new to this, here’s a quick tour on making the most out of these 20-minute meetings:

Graduation requirements Greet the student, ask them how the team is doing, then make sure they will have what they need to leave next June. You like them, sure — but they can’t stay.

Class schedule Students need to stay challenged senior year, and colleges care about rigor. Make sure their schedule does both.

Summer plans Students don’t have to go to Harvard’s Summer program, but staying busy and engaged keeps the student sharp, curious, and focused. Students who have to work or help family out will do that a different way — and if they’re looking for something to do, try this list.

Testing SAT and ACT aren’t the must-dos they once were, but they still play a role for many students. Discussing plans for prep, and for taking the test, still matters — and if they plan on applying to a test-required college, taking the class in the summer may be a good idea.

Campus visits If college is in their future, visiting campus, feeling what the place really is about, is vital, and it’s better to do that in the fall. If summer is the only time they can go, that works. Here’s the way to build a great visit.

Why college? Yes, you likely only have 20 minutes, but 2-3 minutes exploring the bigger question of “What’s next?” gives your work more meaning. Sit back, ask the question, and listen.

Building a list Many college-eager students will already have a list in mind, and that’s great. Get the list, and make sure it has 2-3 colleges that are academically likely, 2 that are (relatively speaking) more affordable, and one that’s close to home, just in case. The rest of the list is up to their interests, as long as they know the expensive schools and the popular schools may not become realities. If they’re OK with that, so are you.

Deadlines Many students are applying early action-decision-single-choice, or interested in rolling admission colleges where applying in the fall is a must. If the student doesn’t know about deadlines, urge them to do the homework and build a spreadsheet.

Teacher letters I’m a fan of asking teachers for letters in the spring of junior year, so teachers can write letters over the summer — since they’re busy in the fall, doing, you know, teaching. Two academic teachers from junior year who know the student well does the trick.

Essays You can’t really do justice to essay writing in this meeting, but it’s worth sharing some general ideas. Colleges will ask questions that require specific answers, but many let the student pick. Ask the student “What story would you tell a college that shows them who you are — not tells them, but shows them?” That will get them on the right track.

Paying for college Students aren’t always candid about this, but you have to ask if they’ve had The Conversation with Mom and Dad, if only to remind them this is important. Point out the timeline for FAFSA, and talk about scholarship sites — although I’m not a big fan of them.

What’s going to make a great senior year? Their answer will, hopefully, have nothing to do with college, and more to do with life. That’s good.

What can I do to help you? College is part of life, but they already have a life. Finishing with this question reminds them of that.

Watch Your State Legislature. Seriously.

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

In case you’re thinking the only two groups in gift giving mode this time of year are college admissions offices and Santa, let me tell you about my day yesterday.

My phone went off around 7:30, and even my children know they won’t get any money from me until at least 9 AM. It was a colleague from a college advocacy group, informing me that the Michigan state legislature was going to take up a bill that would basically gut all requirements for continuing professional development in college and career counseling. If passed, school counselors would meet the new, ahem, “requirements” by attending as little as one college’s update program, and one career field’s update, every five years.

So, what happens if a student needs the latest information on a different college, or a different occupation? Apparently, they are out of luck.

I called a few folks, and we put together an impressive piece of testimony against the legislation—even better, one colleague moved heaven and earth to get to the state capitol to deliver it in person. And while the legislation has made it out of committee, it has several steps to go before becoming law, and we are more than ready for the next few rounds.

Welcome to the wonderful world of lame-duck politics, where legislators finishing up their terms of office after the election—and therefore no longer feeling the need to be accountable to the public—do whatever they feel like doing. This is especially true when it comes to education, where many politicians are convinced they know how to run a school, because—after all—they attended one. Well-meaning legislators who used to be teachers are often even worse; there is a reason they are no longer in the classroom, and that can serve as the worst possible motivation behind a piece of legislation they are sure will cure all of education’s wrongs.

To be sure, most legislators are pretty reasonable people during a normal session, when bills aren’t passed in record time, with just one hearing. But there’s something about getting that Last. Bill. Passed. or righting that one educational wrong that makes them feel the twelve days before Christmas are the ideal time to give education the gift they are sure will keep on giving.

Of course, cabbage is also a gift that keeps on giving, but that analogy doesn’t occur to them.

So yes, you have more than enough to do this time of year already, and it wouldn’t really kill you to spend some social time with the people you share an office with. But legislators with one foot out the door can get a lot done in a hurry that can change your world forever. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to make sure you have some way of making sure you know what’s in their red satin bag—and if it’s coal, what you can do about it before it’s under your tree for good.

(By the way—if you are a Michigan resident, contact your Michigan state senator (do that here) and urge them to vote no on SB 1142. While you’re at it, contact House Education Chair Matt Koleszar (do that here) and urge him not to take up the bill for hearings if it makes it to the House.

The well-being of Michigan’s students and economy are at stake, and this bill is turning an important tool in honing that well-being into a box-checking exercise for counselors. Professional development should be about the students and fostering their dreams.

About Community Service

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

High school students, especially those of you applying to college, it's time to have a heart-to-heart about the meaning of community service.

Here's the deal: Chances are, the community you live in doesn't have enough money to pay for everything it needs. Some older community members could use a little company, or some elementary school kids may have nowhere to go after school. The DVDs in the library may need to be catalogued, or the local business owners could use a hand running the town Halloween party. The help may seem a bit random, but it's still needed.

Because you like where you live, and you want to keep it nice – or because you'd like to make it even nicer – you step up, pitch in, and help out people you've never even met before. It goes beyond serving you, it serves everyone. That's community service.

"But dude" you may say, "That's not what I heard community service is about. This dude spent $7,000 to fly to a town in the Himalayas and watch them install a water pump. He says probably nobody else did that, so this will give him a lock on a sweet college!"

To be honest with you, this dude is probably right – there are very few high school seniors with absolutely no plumbing expertise who would "work" on a community service project like that.

But that is a really good thing, because their own community could use their help.

Don't get me wrong: there are thousands of young people every year who donate amazing amounts of time and money to go to poverty-stricken islands and villages to make life better for others. Many of them don't speak the language, they work 14 hour days, and sleep on rock – and they are heroes.

What I continually see, though, are high school students who are convinced that all they have to do to be a hero or to catch the eye of a college is to go overseas. Our "dude" could have been a hero – if he gave the Red Cross the four grand needed for the pump, and spent the rest of his plane ticket on new gym equipment for the Boys Club where he could have volunteered five hours a week.

Of course, there's another big difference. You don't hear about those young people who donate time or money to their local community, because they don't talk about it much – in fact, it's often hard to get these folks to put this information on their college applications.

Why? Because it isn't about them, or their scrapbooks, or filling a college application with a "right" activity – it's about the people they serve. Wherever you serve, whomever you serve, real service only begins when you park your aspirations at the door and give yourself over to the work at hand. That's how parents change diapers, friends forgive one another, grandparents smile when you play the drums for them at age 9. It's why the comics section that flew from your Sunday newspaper gets picked up off your neighbor's lawn. But not by your neighbor.

Do colleges want students who engage in community service? You bet – colleges are communities too, and they'll have a few bazillion things that need to get done. People who show they're willing to make a difference in the community are a great asset to any college. Will they care if it's overseas? Not at all. As long as you hear the call for help across the ocean and genuinely answer, rather than go overseas just to say you went, your application will probably glow with the difference. But, additional local community service would show you understand charity begins at home, and that's not a bad lesson to embrace.

On the other hand, if you make it to senior year with 450 checker games under your belt and the eternal respect of the assisted living center down your block, that power will shine, too – and you can leave the long-distance duty for vacation.

Community service is about seeing what's possible for others, and what you can do to help them realize it. It's an attitude that will stay with you for life and transcend any college application.

A Paean (of Sorts) to Admissions Staff

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

(All based on true stories.)

We had just talked about a student who was applying to his highly competitive college, and the admissions rep said he needed to get to his next high school. Rather than take him to the closest exit to the building, we went to the next one—allowing us to walk through our art gallery, where there was a painting done by the student we had just discussed.

“Hey”, I feigned, “what do you know? Here’s the latest work by that student.”

The rep read my motives in a heartbeat. He started to say well, yes, but he was running behind, and couldn’t really spend time looking at—

And then he saw the painting, a look which was followed by a defining pause.

“Yes. Well” he said.

Two weeks later, he called my office.

“We’re admitting her early” he said. “We really see something in the artwork.”

It’s more than OK if a student is waiting for you when you open up the office first thing in the morning, since they are typically cheery, and sometimes even bring pastry. The ones to watch out for come in two minutes after you open up. They’ve been pacing in the hallway, trying to figure out just what to say, or maybe even thinking twice about coming in at all.

He was one of the latter students, and his generally cheery face was ashen and exhausted. “My dad lost his job, and we’ve just been evicted.”

As dazed as he was, he did a remarkable job of telling me what all this meant about college plans. To no one’s surprise, he needed more money.

I’d served on a professional committee with the director of admissions at his first-choice college, so she took my call right away. The director immediately went into problem-solving mode, and when we came up empty, she said, “I see an ACT of 28. Too bad. One more point, and that’s $40,000 more in scholarship.”“It is a 29” I said, “I’ve got it right here.”

“Oh, OK. Tell you what. We usually require official copies for test scores, but if you happen to fax that to me in the next five minutes, and I happen to be going past the fax machine, well, what can I do?”

The student left school that day, college plans in place.

My other student wasn’t as fortunate. His mother, one of the most engaged, supportive parents in the history of the world, passed on after a brief illness, and the student was an only child. “Dad still wants me to go away to college” he told me, “but I don’t know if I can do it.”

It was August, and he was supposed to report to orientation, five hours away, in two weeks. I called our admissions rep, and explained the situation.

There was a long pause. “Well”, he said, “we’re always saying we’re like a family. I guess it’s time to prove it.”

And they didn’t disappoint. The student came home for Thanksgiving beaming about college, and life, and what was to come. It wasn’t in his job description, but the rep had made sure that would happen.

The travel is long, the pay can be bad, GPS isn’t always right, and every high school counselor is looking for an inside track. Despite that, they are the guardians of the integrity of our profession, our students, and themselves—and at the end of the day, they acquit themselves with panache, enthusiasm, and heart.

Road warriors? More like masters of life’s roadways.