Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Beating the August Counselor Blues

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Let’s face it — August is not the best time to be a school counselor. New students need help feeling grounded, particularly the ones who feel they don’t need any help feeling grounded. Well-meaning parents new to your school were sure they could just show up the first day of school to register their kids. Middle- and high-school counselors are trying to remember just why schedule changes are their responsibility, and high school counselors are being besieged — before school starts — with parents saying “She applied to college yesterday. Why haven’t you sent their transcript?”


It would be too easy to try and comfort you by saying “This will all be different in three weeks”, but that really doesn’t help, since three weeks is, well, three weeks away. You need some relief now, so here goes:


You’re doing things you weren’t trained to do. There are hundreds of counselor training programs in this country, and not one — Not. One. — shows you how to do schedule changes, or how to register students. There’s a reason for this. This isn’t part of your job.


Remembering this can be oddly healing, since there’s always a sense of satisfaction being right. If you throw it in with lunch duty and bus supervision, you can see these first days’ tasks as a chance to get to know the students and help you build relationships. “Did you go to any concerts this summer?” “I’ve been at work too much — what’s going on with TikTok these days?”, and the usual comments about the teams they’re on can help you (and them) get past the fact that these tasks are mundane, making your time with them much more valuable — especially if you have to say no to the schedule change that would give them lunch with their girlfriend.


You were just on vacation. Summer counseling duties vary greatly, but with some effort, most counselors can remember back to the end of July, when your only concern was moving your backyard hammock around to keep out of the sun. Everyone, from counselors to business folks to artists, have a tough time engaging in reentry to their workspace. Keeping a few photos handy on your phone of vacation, the family reunion, or the perfect peach cobbler you finally conquered gives you the opportunity to peek at them between students to remember your personhood, and that can really help.


Don’t look ahead. Do ahead. It doesn’t really help all that much to say “Once this is over, I can do some real counseling”, since that just makes you more impatient for that day to arrive. Instead, take a few minutes at home to draw up half-a-dozen five-minute activities you can do at the office that you’ll actually use once it’s time for real counseling. Will you be visiting ninth grade classes to introduce yourselves? Take five minutes to review (or prepare) a slide deck you’ll be using. Meeting with seniors to discuss post-high school plans? Review the senior meeting sheet to make sure it’s up to date. Sneaking these activities between August student meetings isn’t planning; it’s doing, and that reminds you why you became a counselor in the first place.


Think Labor Day. The start of your school year isn’t after Labor Day anymore, but you still get three days of summer this weekend. When the next student comes in with the Lame Schedule Change Excuse of the Century, take a mental break to envision the mini-summer that’s coming up. See yourself sleeping in, poolside, or next to a plate full of grilled brats and grandma’s deviled eggs. It works.




Wednesday, August 20, 2025

College Applications

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Most students balk at filling out college applications because they view it as the first step towards leaving home. That's easy to see; this is the place where you listen to your music, text message long after your parents have gone to bed, do a little homework, and think about your life. The world outside has changed and challenged you, sometimes in ways you didn't like or didn't completely master — but at the end of the day, you came home to sort out what it all meant, and looked forward to what came next. Giving this place up won't be easy.

The good news is the colleges that are right for you will feel just like home. It may be in the dorm rooms, it may be at the library (hey, it happens), it may be the whole campus — but somewhere at those colleges, there is a spot waiting for you to reflect on the challenges of life, wonder about the possible, and text your BFFs ’til dawn. Once you think about college as your next home, completing the applications will be as easy as taking the written exam for your driver's license, because both are just the paperwork that leads to a greater sense of freedom. In the end, going to college isn't about leaving home — it's about taking home with you.

The second thing I would do is replace students' earbuds with soundproof headphones. Some students hit the brakes because of outside opinions about their college choices. The application to a college a student loves often heads to the shredder when a well-meaning neighbor asks "Where is that college?", or Uncle Bob reports the college is nowhere to be found in the recently published rankings. If it turns out no other student at the local high school is applying to this college, this can become a trifecta for trauma.

So make the mature choice and be selfish. You know who you are and what you want in a college — if college selection were a term paper, you’d have about 25 sources to quote and 3000 file cards to synthesize by now. Knowing what you know about college and yourself, it's important to keep the well-meaning insights of others in perspective — some may know you, some may know colleges, but very few (except your parents) will know both as well as you do.

Everyone on your first grade soccer team got a trophy for participating, and choosing colleges works the same way — with self-knowledge and college knowledge, everyone gets a best college, even if what's best for you is different from what's best for everyone else.

At this time of year, it's easy for seniors to think it's gonna take a miracle to get into college. You've worked too hard to believe in things that you don't understand. Instead, remember what home means to you, stay focused on what you've learned about college and yourself, and your college applications will go flying out the door so quickly, you'll realize the miracle is you.

So pick up the pen, and pass the cheese doodles. You can do this.