Advice for Collegebound Juniors

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Now that most of the smoke is clearing from this year’s college application season, there seem to be some things juniors want to plan on doing that seniors, for better or worse, didn’t have to worry about. Ready?

Make sure to take the SAT, ACT, or both It wasn’t all that long ago many, many colleges decided maybe test scores didn’t matter that much after all, and went test optional, leaving it up to the student to decide if their test score really said very much about them.

It turns out some colleges are finding their testing addiction tough to kick, so many are now heading back to requiring tests. You’ve worked hard to find a college that will offer you the right mix of challenge, support, and opportunity, so keeping it open as an option by dedicating four hours to a test (and the prep that goes with it) is worth it. I wish it were otherwise, but it’s time to be safe rather than sorry. Sign up for at least one test, and plan on taking one a second time if you can.

You need a backup plan, Part I The story of the year that has me yanking what little hair I have out by the handful are the ones that are being right now about the highly popular colleges that have become “easier” to get it, since the admit rates have gone from 3 percent to 5 percent.

What does that mean? Well, in basketball terms, it means that, for every shot taken last year, 3 went in. This year, 5 will go in.

Don’t let the numbers fake you out. Find some nice colleges just like the one you love that aren’t crazy competitive to get into, and apply—and remember, there are some nice honors and residential colleges at public universities that offer nice aid to smart kids.

You need a backup plan, Part 2 The other story that’s nuts is the “four years of college isn’t worth the price” argument that keeps students from applying to college in the first place. It’s easy to go into a Mercedes showroom and decide you can’t afford the latest model, since everyone (more or less) pays the same amount. Not so college admissions, where financial aid takes individual situations into consideration; some states offer free tuition for the first two years, and some colleges make all aid packages loan free.

Don’t let the sticker price scare you away. Find out what the real cost will be to you by applying for admission and aid, and see what happens.

You need a backup plan, Part 3 Finally, the news is replete with students who just don’t want to go to school anymore, that the prospect of four more years of The Scarlet Letter just isn’t their idea of a good time. 

Fair enough—try this.

Somewhere in your community, someone is giving what’s called an aptitude test. This test measures the skills you have, and can give you some idea what career you should go into, based on talent—that’s based on talent, not interest, so these tests do have some limits.

Go take an aptitude test, and have someone go over the results with you, especially the part that talks about what kind of training you need after high school to get a job in this field. High schools, community colleges, and the military tend to offer them, and this can help you get some idea what should come next that truly won’t be a waste of money—provided it’s a job you like.

Decision Time is Nigh

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

This is a time of great excitement for all of you, but before you go any further, it’s important to know three things about selective college admissions. I cannot overstate the importance of reading this twice, thoroughly, before you move ahead—OK?

Some colleges will find their applications are at an all-time high The number of students graduating from high school goes up and down, but one constant is the number of students applying to highly selective colleges—it always tends to go up. Even if it didn’t, getting admitted to colleges with a 6 percent acceptance rate is just plain hard to do. This isn’t a random process, and there’s more to it than just grades, but an increase in the number of applicants makes it that much harder to get admitted.

There is a common reason why colleges deny admission to most applicants The number one reason selective colleges turn down most applicants is simple—they run out of room before they run out of great applicants. If they had more dorm rooms, and more professors, and more classrooms, they’d love to take more students. But they cannot do justice to the students they admit by taking too many students, since no one gets a quality education that way—and that’s not fair to anyone.

An admissions decision is NOT a character indictment With more applications, and limited space, colleges must create a learning community that is exciting, diverse, and rich with opportunities. Doing that is a mix of science and art, a mixture of data (grades, maybe test scores) and insight (essays, letters of recommendation), and frankly, a little guesswork, where (as one admissions officer said) the standard is excellence, not perfection. In selecting these students, these colleges will tell you that just about everyone who applied qualifies for admission—they would be a great student, benefit the college tremendously, and contribute to the college in many ways. Since you applied to a highly selective college, all of that applies to you.

Given that, I can’t think of any way a letter of denial or waitlist should be interpreted to mean “The college doesn’t like me”—or worse, “”I am not a good person”. College admissions is about many things, but it is never a judgement about you as a person.

Most colleges go to great pains to point this out when they send their No letters. Believe me when I tell you they aren’t just being nice; they truly honor and respect everything you have done as a person, and they are grateful you applied to their college. That may not mean much the minute you hear the news, but it will over time. Whether the college says yes, no, or maybe, your value and worth as a person is cast in stone, and can be shaken by absolutely on one, be it another person, or an admissions committee.

Your life isn’t in that envelope or e-mail; it’s just an admissions decision. You already have a life, and a fine one at that.

Time With Your Parents

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Your applications are in, but college should still be on your mind. There is no letting up on taking tough classes; no giving up on writing essays; no slacking off on homework, and no telling the teachers how smart they are in the hopes your B will magically become an A.

Fair enough, you think. At least you can stop meeting with your parents, now that the college choices are all made.

Yes. About that.

It would seem something has happened since you first carved 20 minutes out of your week to talk with your parents about college (You did do that, right?). To begin with, they’ve learned to give you space; most parents think it’s crazy to limit themselves to 20 minutes a week to talk about college, especially during the weeks in the fall when you were working on applications and telling them absolutely nothing beyond their allotted time. They’ve learned to trust you more, which will come in handy over time—like one you go to college, when you buy your first couch, and name your first child after a Game of Thrones character.

But something else has happened. Because you met once each week when no one was rushing to get you anywhere, your parents had a chance to see wat you’ve made of yourself since the last time things weren’t so crazy—which for most families, is when you were bout four. I have to tell you—they really liked what they saw. And they’d like to keep seeing it every week for 20 minutes.

This probably makes no sense to you, but when you came home and said “Last Winter exam! Yes!”, they said, “Last Winter exam? No!!” They told you they cried when you went to this year’s Sadie Hawkins Dance because they thought you looked nice, right? Nope—last one. And remember how they once dreaded having you home from school for any reason? Not so much now.

Through the 20-minute meetings, your parents realize they have a child who is smart, knows who they are, and understands a little about how the world works—and that child is moving out of the house in six months. Giving you up then is something they’ll figure out; giving you up now is something they would just as soon not do.

Of course, you don’t have to talk about college—now is not the time to sit in the living room, holding hands and listening to the cuckoo clock chirp away until the college decisions arrive. Order some food in, catch up on a movie, work a jigsaw puzzle—do something, and do anything together.

Love is as much a verb as it is a noun, and showing them what you feel at a time of uncertainty (for you and them) can make a memory that will last far longer than whatever State U has to say in a couple of weeks.

No college decision will change the way they feel about you, just like it shouldn’t change the way you feel about yourself. Twenty weekly minutes of meeting time that isn’t “required” will bring that home as nothing else can, and build a stronger base for whatever is waiting after Decision Day.

Give it some thought as you work on your next scholarship essay. They’re sure thinking about it—they’ve told me as much.