Remembering the Season

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Many counselors are looking forward to this upcoming time off, since it represents a return to a “normal” holiday season. Given the hope—and even for those who are looking at a different kind of time off— here’s a story that takes us back to one of the holidays that’s celebrated, in the hopes that looking at its origins might give us the perspective needed to make the most of our upcoming time off. Enjoy.

In fourth century Asia Minor, there lived a farmer with three beautiful daughters. When the eldest announced she was planning to wed, the farmer fretted aloud that he had no money to provide her a dowry, putting her wedding plans in jeopardy.

One day, as the farmer left his home to tend to his crops, he felt something bump up against his foot as he put on his field shoes, which he had left on the porch before coming in the house the night before. He searched the shoe, and discovered a small bag of gold, worth just enough to make a dowry for his eldest daughter and to pay for her wedding.

A few years later, his second daughter announced her plans to wed, and the farmer’s financial picture had not improved over time. Wondering where he would find funding to support this wedding, he was delighted, but still surprised, to find another bag of gold in his field shoes just a few days later.

When his third daughter announced her plans to wed, the farmer was determined to discover the identity of the giver of the gold. He spent the night on the front porch, and when no one came to fill his field shoes with gold, went inside to prepare for the day. Imagine his surprise when he took down his stockings—hanging near the fire where they were drying—and found another bag of gold.

Only years later was it discovered that the giver of the gold was Nicholas, the village priest, who was only too aware of the farmer’s plight.

To this day, many families honor Nicholas by placing toys and candy in the shoes their children put out the night before—and these trinkets often include an orange, symbolic of the bags of gold. Other families hang stockings by the fireplace, typically at Christmas, to commemorate Nicholas’ ability to climb down the very large chimney opening once the evening fire was out and place the third bag of gold in the farmer’s stockings.

Either way, the tale of Nicholas is a reminder that this time of giving is one based on supply, and not excess.

Counseling Over Break? Ho, Ho—No!

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

’Tis the season for counselor blogs and chat rooms to be filled with the inevitable holiday question—how much are you checking email and seeing students over break? Like most school counselor issues, this one seems easy at first. You look at your contract or remember what your boss wanted to do last year, and there’s your answer.

Until you remember the student who decided to wait to apply to their 12 other colleges until they heard back from their unlikely Early school on December 20. This student is now looking at midnight shifts over the holiday. Won’t they need help?

Until the student who got a Yes from their Early school walks into your office the last day of school with four—count ‘em, four—financial aid forms the college wants completed and returned by January 5, or the student’s acceptance is in peril. This is the first student in the family to go to college. Need I say more?

There’s no hard and fast rule in approaching this question, but there is one important guideline to follow that make the exceptions—and, believe it or not, saying “no”—more manageable. Ready?

Plan ahead. I love my colleagues dearly, but any first-time announcement going out right now about being closed for all of break is going to make Scrooge look like Mister Rogers, so grin and bear it this year, and make a note for next year. Send out an announcement (by mail, by email, on the Web, in text) that states your availability for both Thanksgiving and December break. This puts everyone on notice: You need help? Here’s when you can, and can’t, get it.

This notice can absolutely say the office will be closed and you won’t be available. I did this for the last fifteen years as a college counselor, and no one complained. The “last minute” folks in the crowd now know they’ll be flying on their own. If they don’t want to do that, there’s ample time to develop Plan B.

For them—and even for the students who plan ahead—you want to provide guidance (oops) on what to do if something unexpected comes up. “If you end up applying to a school we haven’t discussed, or if you hear from a college over break, drop me an email, and I’ll respond when we return. Just make sure you send your part of a new application in by the deadline.” Colleges know high schools are closed December 28, so they know any request they make then will have to wait until January.

If you must be available over break, the November 1 notice (which gets sent again right before Thanksgiving, December 10, and two days before December break) should specify when you’re available. It’s not healthy for anyone to have counselors available every day of break, so set some times (one morning and one afternoon), set the format (phone, online, in person) and then stick to that schedule. Part of this is for your own good, and part is practice for college. A student shouldn’t expect a professor to be in their office at 2:00 Tuesday if office hours are Monday at 3:00. Be the professor.

There are all kinds of exceptions that make it impossible to take all of break off, but a long history of handling breaks suggests this is an optimal time—for students and counselors alike—to let go of school for a while. Let’s try and keep the big picture in mind as we go over the river and through the woods—and leave the computer at the office.

Oxford

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s a story about a lot of things that don’t get talked about much, starting with the town itself.  Ask most Detroiters about Oxford, and they’ll say it’s a tiny town that runs a pretty good fall festival.  Beyond that, it’s one of those towns where varsity football is King, where nearly the whole town closes so everyone can go to the game, and everyone can tell you who’s on this year’s team.  A few of the town elders will still tell you Oxford was the birthplace of one of the most famous radio voices, The Lone Ranger, but other than that, it’s just a great little town that makes for a pleasant stop as you’re travelling somewhere else.

 

This is also a story about the Oxford Police Department, a small-town public safety program that focuses as much on community relations as it does on law enforcement.  This isn’t exactly Sheriff Andy from Mayberry, but I’m hard pressed to think of another police department’s web page that boasts about its chaplaincy program, where “our Chaplain is available 24 hours a day to assist officers and citizens during times of tragic events.”  In a profession where the small things make a difference, it’s clear Oxford gets that. They also understand that the minute you start bragging about them, you’ve kind of missed the point.

 

Closer to home for school counselors, this is also a story about lockdown drills, the exercises typically held in those first few days of school before the students arrive. To some, it’s one of those things you do to check a box so you can say you practiced the drill.  In the eyes of others, it’s an object of disappointment, a premature step on the road to the loss of innocence at too early an age—“We don’t have enough time to teach handwriting, but there’s always time for a lockdown drill.” Others see them as a necessary evil; if there was a predictable pattern to where they were needed and when, no one would practice them if they didn’t have to.  It’s just that no one knows where or when—so they’re conducted, just in case.

 

That’s where things were this Tuesday, as school counselors across the country were getting ready for another major college application deadline.  A semiautomatic handgun saw to it that Oxford would be something more than a sleepy town with a tough football team, killing four, and putting the school in the company of once-unknown Columbine and Sandy Hook.  The community-based peace officers took on a role they had never known, but were clearly well trained for, as the shooter was captured three minutes after they were dispatched to the high school.  And those pesky, painful lockdown drills saved hundreds of lives, as students and teachers built barricades that withstood gunfire, and responded to fake “all clear” messages by holding their ground or heading for higher ground.

 

Not a single school counselor slept well, or at all, Tuesday night, as our hearts reached out to another set of suffering families and another suffering school, and we wondered if our school would be ready to respond.  We pray we are, but we pray harder that we never have to find out.  Either way, we leave this week with a greater appreciation for things too often taken for granted—leadership, protection, and advanced planning. We vow to remain alert for signs of events that are often as understated as the towns where they occur, until the unknown becomes known in ways that make us ache, and vow to do better.

 

Will we?

Tidying Up for the Holidays

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

I don’t know about everyone else, but the award for “Where Did the Time Go?” for 2021 goes to the last eight weeks. It seems like yesterday we were talking about everything new for this application season, and now we’re looking at the other side of November 1.

This is typically the time for odds and ends, and this year is no exception. While we urge students to keep the momentum going, here are some additional considerations that sometimes get lost at this time of year, that, if not tended to, can have the same effect as not applying at all:

Additional forms for November 1 applications. Counselors are reporting an uptick in the number of colleges that are asking students for additional information after the initial application was submitted November 1. In particular, there seems to be a number of colleges asking students to submit self-reported grades; it’s almost as if they are saying “Thanks for the application, but are you serious?”

Providing grades gives the colleges one less piece of paper to wait for, but completing this task with several colleges in the brief interval between November 1 and Thanksgiving is no easy feat. Nonetheless, the problem is what it is. Remind students to check their emails frequently, not only for verification the colleges have what the student has already received, but to see what else the colleges want the student to submit—and when they want it submitted. 

FAFSA Verification. This isn’t a new thing, but its relevance seems to be increasing. Students submit the FAFSA, and many receive a request from the colleges asking that the student confirm parts of the information submitted on the form with additional verification—bank statements, statements of non-support, and more.

As is often the case with financial issues, the biggest burden of proof typically lies with the students who need the most help—who, typically, have had the least amount of experience in financial issues. On top of this, some of the information is hard to get. How exactly do you prove you haven’t heard from a non-custodial parent in five years, when you don’t even know where they are?

Compared to all other parts of the application, verification can truly be the most tedious, and require the most hand holding. Reach out to all FAFSA filers (and their parents) early and often, and ask what you can do to help.

Phantom Students and Hard Lists. This isn’t exactly the time when you have time to close the door and look at the big picture of college applications, but that’s precisely what needs to be done right now. Pull out the roster of your entire senior caseload, and look for two things. 

First, what students have you just not heard from in a long time? Make a list, start with an email, and be ready to follow through. 

Second, look at the lists for all your students, and highlight the ones whose academic plans may not match up all that well with reality. It’s always good to dream, but the window is closing on Plan B schools, and every student needs at least a couple. This news is best shared in person, but if email is all you have time for, put together a thoughtful request, and give them a few schools to consider. 

These steps are time consuming, but they will save a lot of anxiety in the very short weeks between Thanksgiving and December break—a time that flies even faster than the last eight weeks did.

Weekend Deadlines? Yeah—About That…

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

This blog recently addressed a long-standing counselor beef—the student submits an application on Thursday, then gets an email on Friday saying the high school hasn’t sent the transcript. A highly respected enrollment manager suggested that maybe it was time to stop venting and contact the colleges directly—and respectfully—to relate the effect this was having on students. I put together a model letter, hoping that nine more of you would (ideally) find the time to craft and send something similar, or (more likely) copy my letter and send it to the colleges, too. Either way, it’s better than wishing.

Now that your first endeavor in diplomatic college reform is over, I’m hoping you’ll give it one more try, with an issue that hurts students just as much. I’ll cut right to the chase with the sample letter:

Dear Mary (again, use their name. Anything addressed to “Dear Director” gets tossed):

I’m writing to ask you to make a small change to your current application deadlines. While some of these dates have been used for years—November 1, January 1, and May 1—they often cause some unintended damage to the ability of students to respond on the basis of thoughtful advice, something that benefits no one.

The challenge with most of these dates is when they occur on a weekend. Last year, November 1, November 15, and May 1 all occurred on Sunday, where students were expected to submit documents or make decisions without access to college advice the day of the deadline—or, in this case, the day before as well. The mild bedlam that occurs in a high school on an application deadline day is hard to describe, but it can lead to some anxious students in our offices, and some very anxious parents on our phone lines.

I am a big advocate of students using the college application process to assume new levels of responsibility, and support the notion that there’s only so much help one can offer. At the same time, this is the first time many of them have had to take a complex task and complete the individual portions in a timely fashion. If we were talking turning in one paper, that would be one thing. There’s a little more than that to a college application.

This challenge could be met—and students’ minds would be set at ease—if all deadlines were set to a particular day—the first Tuesday in November (replacing November 1), the third Tuesday in November (replacing November 15), the second Tuesday in January (replacing January 1), the first Tuesday in May (replacing May 1). This is especially true for students who attend high schools where counselor caseloads are large, often involving students who need more college help. 

Deadlines that give students the chance they deserve to get the help they need will only increase the quality and quantity of applications. Just ask Georgia Tech, who made this move a few years back and saw increased numbers as a result.

Regarding January 1, high schools are typically closed for an entire week before this deadline, and many are closed days after. This really puts students at a huge disadvantage, and college admissions offices aren’t even open that day. A “second Tuesday” deadline gives students access to the support they need to submit a quality application with as little stress as possible.

I’d be happy to discuss this with you in greater detail, but I hope you can see how these changes could be a huge help, especially to the students who most need it. You can reach me at…

Sincerely,

Letters and Venting

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Counselors seem to do a lot of venting this time of year. It’s easy to understand; there’s only so much energy to devote to the noble task of finding new ways to say “Wonderful” without having at least a little of it spill over to, as much as we love our students, wishing we were past this. That’s when those little things that typically sit quietly in the corner of our view take on a life of their own, leading to social media posts that say “Why do the colleges do this?”, “Why don’t the colleges do that?”, and the many variations of “Why do students come with parents?”

Some of these heat-of-the-moment murmurings have true merit. That came to mind last week with three announcements that garnered lots of attention. Smith College announced it was joining the rare air of colleges that include no loans in their financial aid packages. Smith joined Earlham College in the headlines, as Earlham announced it would now be tuition free to all low-income Indiana students. Finally, Amherst College joined the newsmaker when it announced it would no longer consider legacy as part of an application.

The Amherst news made the biggest splash, in part because legacy admissions is seen as the current roadblock to access and equity at many colleges (a gentle reminder that every part of the college application process is biased by wealth and privilege). When a storied place like Amherst makes this change, it suggests maybe all the muckety-muck schools may be poised to do the same.

On the other hand, it’s important to keep perspective. Smith, Amherst, and Earlham are all great schools, but they are also private, small, and mighty expensive. The number of colleges that, by themselves, enroll more students than these three combined is staggering, it’s easy to see why most counselors—and certainly most students—would look at these announcements with a pronouncement of “Yeah? So?”

And there’s the problem with trying to change college admission—yes, the system is skewed, and far too many bright students are denied access to colleges that would do them a world of good. But how exactly do you fix that? By calling on individual institutions to be their own change agents, or by affecting public policy to move the entire profession in a different profession?

There are clearly limits to both. Colleges have the admissions policies they have because they work for that particular college. It takes a lot of humility and vision to say “Hmm, maybe this doesn’t need to be in the mix after all.” It also takes a lot of courage, since every change runs the risk of, well, change, including at the bottom line—and once the ledger is involved, it brings the attention of more than just school counselors or admissions folks.

On the other hand, the notion that one public policy change will fix all problems is simply wishful thinking. The moment the free college folks start talking about free food banks and child care for all, we’re not really talking about just free college, and are talking about lots of equity issues. That complicates things, and may make good the victim of perfect.

The visions we get during letter writing season of a more just and equitable process run the gambit from small to huge, and are vital to the progress of the profession. Grand or petite, they have their value—but they do take commitment, and they require action beyond a social media post or two. That’s the nature of change; it’s a great idea, but it’s also a project.

Transcript Frustration? Tell the Colleges

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

It’s that time of year again. Students submit applications on Tuesday, and get an email from the college on Wednesday, saying “We don’t have your transcript.” Trouble is, the student—and more likely, the parent—reads it as “WE DON’T HAVE THE TRANSCRIPT!!! GOOD LUCK IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVORS.”

And do they call the college? Uh, no.

Counselors flock to social media and beg colleges to stop this process, all to no avail. Why? Because colleges are convinced the counselors are just blowing off steam.

One very thoughtful enrollment manager has suggested it would only take about ten school counselors to contact the colleges who engage in these counterproductive behaviors and ask them to stop. Of course, this entails counselors finding the time to write the letter (you can use the same one with different colleges—like the kids!), and the restraint to craft a tone that isn’t along the lines of “You do realize you’re ruining my life?”

You’re busy folks, so I’ll tell you what. Here’s an example of a letter addressing this issue. It would be better if you didn’t send this one to the colleges—unique submissions are always best—but if you’re hard pressed, I think they’ll understand. I’m going to send mine along, but you’ll need to tell me what colleges should get this—you know, the ones that practice this odious policy. Email me here, and I’ll get it away right away. But make sure you do your part and send your letter—you are in the field, and that makes it real.

Dear Bill (Hint: you lose them if you don’t address them by name):

I’m writing to ask you to modify part of your application process that I believe is causing a great deal of excess stress among students. This is the practice where, within 1-3 days of receiving the student’s application, you send them—and only them—an email saying their application is incomplete, and you need their transcript, letters, etc.—things sent by the student’s school.

I don’t know what it’s like in other schools, but at my school, nearly all the students request their materials to be sent only after they send in the application. Under the current process, this usually means they ask me to send their materials within a day or two of when they apply. Meanwhile, they get the email from you that tells them things are missing before the school has the chance to send the materials, and both the student and their parents panic.

We all know the application process has its own challenges, but I can’t overstate how much anxiety this causes students. Just when they think they’ve done everything they’ve needed to do, they get a message suggesting they haven’t, even though most of the time, they have. I know it’s important to get a complete file to you right away, but given the caseloads and other duties most counselors have, I really think the transcript system we have in place gets things out as quickly as possible—in most cases, within a week (NOTE: say this only as long as it’s true).

If you could set up your application review system to send the counselor an immediate reminder of what’s due, then only send one to the student if you’ve received nothing after ten days, that meets everyone’s needs in a clear, sane way.

I’d be happy to talk about you more about this. Here’s my contact information.

Please understand, I am writing in the best interest of my students, our mutual focus of attention.

Thank you for all you do,