Bearing Witness to the Birth of a Dream

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

High school students have this interesting way of announcing themselves. Most of them stop at the office door, say hello to me by name, and wait to be invited in. Those that don’t do that tend to simply hover, hoping their mere presence will inspire me to look up from my computer screen and see them there. (One or two—all boys—simply walk in to the office and sit down, saying nothing. This only happens once.)

That’s why I was expecting to see an adult when I looked up to see who was knocking on my office door—what 17 year-old knocks? It was one of my high school seniors, a fabulously bright, good-natured girl, who never caused anyone any trouble. She usually didn’t knock; combined with the way she was clutching her books tightly about her, it was clear something was on her mind.

I pushed aside the paperwork that was engaging my time—a school administrator once told me this is way to show someone you are paying attention to them—and the senior started with her story.

“I sent my application into State U, and I still haven’t heard anything from them. I know it’s only been three weeks, but some of my friends have already heard, and I was wondering if…you could check on my status.”

My caseload was insanely high that year, but I remembered this student for several reasons. Her grades were immaculate, and her test scores were about twice the average for State U, so I knew she was going to be admitted, or I was going to have to walk the 80 miles to State U and kick some sense into someone. I also knew that her being incredibly bright was news to her, which meant it was killing her and her awful self-esteem to ask for help like this.

That was all the reason I needed to support her wish. This was a time when we could pick up the phone—a rotary dial phone, thank you—and call the secretary of the admissions office, who would gladly tell me anything I wanted to know about any student, provided I knew the student’s Social Security number. The FERPA police would have a field day with all of this today, but back then, that’s how things got done.

And so it went this time. I told the secretary why I was calling, and my student perked up considerably when I asked her to provide me with her SSN, three digits at a time.

“Let me see” the secretary said, tapping her way through a couple of computer screens, until she evidently found one with the student’s grades and test scores. “Oh my yes, I would think… let me see if they’ve… yes, they read her file yesterday, and we’ll get her welcome letter out in the mail tomorrow.”

This entire transaction took about 90 seconds, and I have to admit, the results were so predictable to both me and the secretary, my heart didn’t exactly skip a beat when she told me State U was smart enough to admit this student. Instead of being a gushing counselor-cheerleader, I hung up the phone and turned towards my file drawer to pull out this student’s record—but in doing this, my back was now to the student. “OK” I said over my shoulder, eager to keep up with the paperwork of her file, “Congratulations. You’ve been admitted.”

The only sound in my office for the next few seconds was that of my pen scraping against the tagboard form in her file, the one where college decisions are recorded. It was broken by a voice even too meek to be hers, and yet it was.

“R-really?”

I turned to see two full tears streaming down her cheeks, and a self-effacing smile that told me, her best dream had just come true. I put down my pen, and we just sat there, basking in the glow of acceptance for a while.

I was always in less of a hurry to keep up with the paperwork when working with students after that. Sure, her grades and scores told me she was going to college, but that was my job, while this was her dream. How often does anyone get to bear witness to the birth of a dream?

Fast forward, and I came home from work one day, where my wife greeted me with some news. “We’re invited to a graduation party. It’s this Sunday, and the invitation is from Lisa, your student.”

I have to admit, the food didn’t appeal to me much—too many vegetables and way too much eggplant. But the look on Lisa’s face made the day worthwhile, and I was humbled by the chance to join her in wishing the very best to the guest of honor. The party was for her daughter, about thirty years after that day in the office. She was heading to nursing school, the next generation in her family to go to college.

My name is Patrick O’Connor, college farmer, dream weaver.

The Two Phrases That Kill a College Application

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Seniors, your counselors are reporting the use of two phrases in your college applications that are causing them concern. It's likely you're using one of them because you think it shows some exceptional quality. I can't honestly tell you why you're using the second one, but it isn't helping you all that much, either—and since both of them remind me of a classic movie scene, it's likely time to do something about this.

 

“I'm a really hard worker.” 

This phrase is turning up in college essays and counselor meetings at a level that has never been seen before. It's likely showing up so much because students think it shows some level of commitment—school means a lot to me, so I work hard at it. This  also suggests the student using the phrase is expecting some kind of payoff. Americans are raised to believe that, with a little hard work, they can do anything. OK—so, if you're a hard worker, it's time for you to win your prize in the form of an acceptance from your dream school.

 

Unfortunately, this phrase just doesn't do much for college admissions officers, or college in general. One admissions officer told me the phrase is a turnoff to him, since it could mean the student has to work incredibly hard just to keep up with their classes in high school. It's easy to see that as a limitation rather than a good quality. If you're working at full capacity in high school, what does that say about your ability to do harder work at college?

 

The other use of the phrase is just as bad. If you see college as a payoff for working so hard in high school, what does that say about your interest in making the most out of the opportunities college will bring you? Now that the prize is won, will you just sit back and rest on your laurels, treating college like a four year hiatus from reality, where you do just enough to get a degree, party like mad the rest of the time, and then head off to the world of work? Colleges tend to have loftier expectations from their students, and if your language suggests you might not share them, it's likely you won't be studying anything at that particular school.

 

“I really want to go there.”

The use of this phrase in a college application is nothing short of a mystery. It tends to be used by students whose grades or test scores are under the averages for admitted students. The apparent hope is, the fervent desire to attend that college is more than enough to make up a few points in GPA or test scores. It's either that, or the student is hoping the admissions office has just read another application where the student said “To be honest, I don't care if you take me or not.” If that's the case, your enthusiasm may make the difference you hope it will—but that doesn't happen too often. 

 

Most of the time, this phrase rings pretty hollow, a classic example of what colleges mean when they say they want the student to show them, not tell them. You really want to come here? Great. Why? What do you know about our school that makes it more special than others? What have you done to show this high level of devotion-did you attend an online information session? Send your questions about the school to an admissions officer? Look at the college website past the first screen? It's great to want something, but it's even better to put that hope into action. That's what separates the doers from the dreamers.

Freaking Out About College? Don't Do That

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Peer pressure is an amazing thing. 

There haven't been eight weeks of school in many states, but some seniors are already convinced everyone is ahead of them in the rush to college. "I'm all through with my applications" beams Jennifer. "I've narrowed my Early Decision college down to two" boasts another student. "I'm almost done with my first application" crows a third, "my essay is all that's left."

Seniors, it is October 18th. College doesn't start for 11 months. No college has closed admission, and one isn't likely to until November 30. After that, there will only be, oh, about 3000 other colleges to choose from. Many of them don't require test scores or essays, most don't let students apply Early Decision - and they totally rock. So there's time. But enough about them. Let's talk about you.

When was the last time something good ever happened to your life when you took a snapshot of somebody else's life and assumed it was wonderful? Jennifer may be finished applying to college, but maybe that's because her mother was holding the car keys hostage until the apps were done. Does that make for great college essays - especially since essays due January 1st should be reviewed December 15th, just in case the first four months of senior year have changed you, the way you look at the world, or what you want to do with your life?

And your friend who's choosing an Early Decision school - does he understand this is like marriage? Sure, more ED students get admitted (by percentage) than students who wait - but if your one ED college accepts you, you have to go there. Done, Decided. Welcome to the Family. 

If your friend has doubts about both of these schools, maybe it isn't time to book the bachelor party just yet. Instead, he should find some other colleges that have the best qualities of both schools, apply to all of them as a regular applicant, and see what feels best eight months from now.

As for our applicant who needs to finish her essays, she is probably stuck on her essays. If so, it's likely she is trying to write them Tuesday night at 10, after a full day of school, band practice, homework, and a dinner that involves microwaved pasta, no lettuce, and little family time.

If this describes your friend, here is her antidote - no essays on Tuesday. Carve a two-hour block out of Saturday or Sunday (or both), work on your applications then - and only then - and forget about them during the week. That way, you get to study and learn, work on the homecoming float, have a great senior year, and write great college essays to boot. Plus, your applications will be done by Thanksgiving, so you can spend Christmas break with your family, not with your computer.

The root of all bad living lies in thinking someone else has it better than you - it can make you feel trapped, confused, and unworthy. Funny thing is, that isn't because of pressure a peer is putting on you; that's because of pressure you're putting on yourself.

It's time to deflate. Be happy Jennifer's mom is off her back, tell the bridegroom ED doesn't have to be, and make sure your pal with the essays gets a real meal next Tuesday. You'll be happier, they'll be happier, and you may find your first college application will be easier to complete than you thought.

On Saturday.

(Oh, right. What's another reason your friend might not be able to write her essays? Click here.)

 

Do This to Improve Your College Options

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

October is the busiest month in the college application process. Most public universities review applications on a “first come, first serve basis,” so it helps to apply now. Many private colleges will tell you before Christmas if you apply before Halloween, so it helps to apply now. Anxiety goes up when you run out of now — and that’s what October can be all about.

To ease the anxiety, students often turn to their college list for inspiration — but that can just make things worse. Every college you’re applying to has an acceptance rate lower than Congress’s public approval rating, and while most legislators will get admitted to the institution of their choice for next year, that can’t be said about everyone applying to the colleges you worship, including you.

So what can you do? Think about Plan B.

You know — those schools your counselor talked about last spring? The ones that have most, if not more, of the qualities you’re looking for in a college? The ones that may actually offer you money to attend? How many of those schools have you applied to?

Thought so.

Since this is a busy time, your counselor can’t remind you of the importance of this list — so here goes:

• It makes perfect sense to apply to a college you love, but no matter how strong you are, colleges don’t take everyone — students with perfect grades and scores hear “no” all the time.

• Applying to 17 colleges that each has a 5 percent chance of admission does not mean there’s a 105 percent chance you will be admitted to at least one — it’s still 5 percent in each case.

• These schools run out of room before they run out of great students. That isn’t your fault — but you’ll still need somewhere to go to college, and it should be some place you like.

Thinking about these schools now can seem like picking out a frozen pizza at the Piggly Wiggly when you have your heart set on Pizza Papalis. And while you appreciate everything your counselor is doing, it doesn’t help that they give these schools a title that sounds like, well, Second Prize. Safety Schools. Fall Back Schools. Just-In-Case Schools.

Fair enough.

It’s time to stop thinking about getting into college, and start thinking about going to college. Do the schools on both lists offer the same majors? Have about the same class size? Do the students at all schools care equally about learning, or thinking, or Friday night? If someone took you blindfolded to the campus of one of the colleges on your list, would you be able to sort out which list it was on, if you only heard students talking in its classes, and not the admissions office talking about its rankings?

Everyone has their first choices in the world, and pursuing them with all your worth is as important as eating well and looking both ways across the street. But considering other choices at the right time broadens your options, enriches your perspective, and requires you to look more closely at the real value of your top pick — and now is the right time.

It isn’t easy to look past something you love and may never have, but doing so creates an important byproduct. It’s called humility, and since it’s in short supply, more colleges value the real thing. The end result? By looking past your first choice college, you’re more attractive to it —and if the college says No, you’ve only lost one opportunity you love, while building many opportunities you like an awful lot.

So. About Plan B.

Is College Worth It?

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

Now it begins. Your parents want you to start your college essays, and your fall job plans have just fallen through. You’re getting used to your schedule: 5 academic classes, one honors class, and 2 APs. If all goes well, you’ll be admitted to a college that’s right for you, where you’ll get to do this for four more years.

“Dude” you say to yourself, “is college worth it?”

Your parents come back from a dinner party in the neighborhood. “I ran into Jenny Smithers” your Mom says. “She graduated from State U this spring with Honors in Architecture, but with the slow job market, she’s an assistant manager at Burger World and living at home.” “She’s the eighth college grad in the neighborhood who came back home” says Dad. “One more, and the unemployed college grads can start a baseball team.”

“Dude”, you say to yourself, “is college worth it?”

You take a break from job hunting to catch some TV. As you’re flipping the channels, you stop at a story that talks about Bill Gates, Abe Lincoln, and some woman in Connecticut. The story says Bill Gates didn’t finish college and Abe Lincoln never started, but this woman in Connecticut took out $115,000 in loans to go to college. She now has a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy, and can’t get a job.

“Dude” you say to yourself.

You head back to the computer, and make a scientific investigation. It turns out that the unemployment rate is lowest for students with college degrees. It also turns out that most of the job growth in the next 10 years will come in jobs requiring training after high school, but not a four year degree. It also turns out the average graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree has $30,000 in college loans.

“Whoa!” says you.

You’ve decided your homework can wait, and you head down to Maggie’s Pizza. Dave’s the manager on duty tonight, and he’s the smartest guy you know.

“’Sup, bro?” he says, without looking up from the pizza he’s cutting.

“Dave, is college worth it?”

Dave looks up, puts down the pizza cutter, and wipes his hands on his apron.

“Let’s see. Moved in the day before classes started, and I was so scared, I didn’t unpack til November 12th. My roommate was from Brooklyn, and he taught me how to eat pizza the right way. Read my first book of poetry. Worked my summers cleaning dorm rooms, and swore I’d never do that again. Went to Scotland for three weeks, and got to see the sun set at midnight. Learned how to footnote a paper, why camels spit, how to write the business plan that led to this store and the four others in the chain, and why it matters to me who wins the elections in Turkey.”

“What happened November 12th?”

“I met Maggie.”

“Hmm.”

“What about you, man? You know what you want to study?”

“No.”

“Where you want to live?”

“No.”

“Do for a living?”

“No.”

“Yeah. That’s about where I was, before I went. Slice to go?”

Dave shows you how to eat pizza Brooklyn style, and you head for home.

“Where’ve you been, champ? You need to find a job.”

“Sorry, Dad. Just needed to clear my head.”

“Well, it’s a busy time for you.”

“Yeah. Hey Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Who’s running for president in Turkey?”

It’s Really a Brand New Year

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

A local teacher was once the recipient of a prestigious national teaching award.  When asked about his secret to success, his response was fresh, original, and surprising.  “It’s simple” he said.  “After I’m through teaching a particular lesson, I take the notes I painstakingly researched, tear them up, and throw them away.  That way, when I teach the same lesson again, I have to start from scratch.”

If there’s ever a time to apply that lesson to college counseling, it’s this year.  While much of our work is based on past actions—which students got into which colleges with certain credentials—it’s pretty easy to see why this year is going to be different.  This freshness certainly isn’t going to destroy all the axioms we know to be true—there will be certain colleges where a 3.9 student is pretty much going to get in no matter what—but there are enough factors in flux that allow us to throw out some of the rules of the past, and offer new insights into students this year.

Who’s applying  It’s been a challenging year for colleges, as they scramble to meet the needs of admitted international students who can’t get the paperwork they need to be on campus.  A different problem with the same result exists for students whose college funds saw rocky times during the recent stock market upheaval, or those whose families have health or employment issues requiring them to put college on the back burner, at least for now.

Combined with the predicted downturn in the number of high school graduates, these new factors could open up some application options for students.  It’s worth asking the colleges if their recruiting projections are changing at all as a result of these new factors.  No matter what they say, this may make more applications worthwhile for capable students.

What they’re reading, Part I  The best known change is the incredible number of colleges that aren’t requiring test scores this year.  In many ways, this makes sense.  Some students simply aren’t going to get a chance to test, while others may have one set of test scores that was supposed to be a first effort—but now, it’s all they have.

Students need to understand that a college will look at scores that are sent, even if those scores put the student in an unfavorable light.  Some students are convinced colleges will ignore low test scores that are submitted, but that’s not really the case.  To them, that would be like ignoring the D in Algebra 2—once you know it’s there, you have to keep it in mind. Make sure students understand the best time to send test scores, and how to send them in a way that works to their advantage.

What they’re reading, Part II The absence of test scores puts greater weight on the other parts of the application.  At many colleges, much of that weight will get picked up by grades, while other places will look to the essays for a better understanding of the students behind the paperwork.

This means students will want to write as comprehensive a picture of who they are as possible—and that means going easy on the COVID narrative. The pandemic has left a big change on all of us, to be sure, but if all three required essays are all about COVID, colleges won’t help but wonder if there’s anything else in the student’s life.  We wouldn’t have students write three essays on baseball—this is the same thing in many ways.  Make sure the topics of the essays are thematically connected, but individually diverse.

This may not be the first time we’re applying to college, but it’s the first time our students are—so the rules would be new to them, even if they were the same rules as used in past years.  Use this mutual freshness as a springboard for quality advising, even in uncertain times.  As long as students know much of this year is unknown, we can prepare them for whatever lies ahead.

Key Questions to Ask Your College Reps

by Patrick O'Connor, Ph.D.

A very different school year requires a very different approach to getting updates from your favorite colleges. In other years, it was enough to ask a rep, “What’s new?” as they set up for their high school visit with your students. This year, they aren’t coming to your high school—and that’s just the start of things that are new!

Keeping track of the changes this year requires a more systematic approach. Try this simple checklist for starters:

How has the admissions process changed? It may be tempting to just ask about the college’s use of test scores in admissions, but there’s typically much more to any changes the college has made in reviewing applicants. Asking this broader question gives the rep to address all the changes related to admissions, including:

• Any change in the use of ACT and SAT scores—do they still require them? Remember, many schools that are test optional in admissions are still, mysteriously, requiring test scores for scholarships.
• How they will review a file that that doesn’t have test scores. Some schools are weighing the other parts of the application the way they always used to, while others have changed the value of the other parts of the application in ways they think best address the way to read an applicant with no test scores.
• Deadlines for all applications. This is especially the case with Early Action and Early Decision schools, many of whom have decided to push their due dates and response rates well into January. That’s a big deal to students who had hoped to hear from their Early schools in December, so they wouldn’t have to apply to the Regular schools with January 1 deadlines.
• Deadlines for particular programs. The Business School may be taking applicants later, while the Music School may still be auditioning in January. Make sure you know.

What do you want to know about academic rigor? Many colleges will still emphasize the importance of how hard the classes were (and are) that students took last year and this year. With many schools changing to online or remote learning last spring, that meant some of the more challenging courses were graded differently- if at all—and it could mean changes to this year’s classes, too, including the number of high end courses students have access to. Asking about the best way to convey that information will lead to an important discussion about rigor—and it’s likely to bring very different answers from different colleges.

How has the delivery of classes changed? Many colleges are still changing their minds about how to deliver classes this Fall, while others have made commitments to the online/in-person question that are scheduled to last the entire year. We’ve already seen many campuses change this answer to this question in the last week, but it’s still important to ask—there may be plans for this year and next year that will affect your students’ chances of admission, or their interest in applying.

How will deferred students affect admissions for next fall? More students who were supposed to start college this Fall took one look at things and said “Maybe next year.” Does an increase in delayed starters mean fewer of this year’s seniors will be admitted? Will financial aid resources be changed—of housing promises? It may be too early to tell, but more schools are thinking about this already.

What’s the best way to get in touch with you? Many office phones are being left unanswered, so this could be a year when email becomes more important than ever. Ask, just in case.