Helping Students with Admissions Decisions—A Couple of Things to Avoid

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

The last few college decisions are coming out this week, so your office will soon be filled with all kinds of students who have received all kinds of news.  As you try and meet these very different needs, here are a few responses you may want to hold off on, at least for now.

The News is Theirs to Share  The entire school community has invested a great deal into the college applications of every senior.  From teachers to counselors to those in charge of transcripts, it truly does take a village to apply to college, and everyone hopes for the best outcome.

That sense of teamwork has no limits when it comes to applying, but it should have some limits when it comes to sharing the decisions—that’s the student’s job.  This is especially true when there’s good news; you may want to go running into the faculty room with news of every “Yes”, but part of the fun in getting in is when the student gets to see the genuine look of delight on the face of everyone they tell.  This is hard, but you’re a pro; if you have to, send a memo to the faculty, reminding them why you can’t share the news, and encouraging them to do the same, letting the student revel in the moment of glory, or be allowed the best way to share a rejection or deferral.

The Safety Net Exception  The one and only time this “Students First” rule is broken is if you are certain a student is having an exceptionally hard time living with a rejection, but isn’t quite ready to talk about it.  Students experiencing this frustration usually don’t come by your office, so you’ll have to keep your antennae up, and spend ample time in the hallways.

If you discover a student who might have a tough time making it through the day, go easy—there’s a good chance they aren’t ready to talk about it, or they would have sought you out.  If they turn down your invitation, get the word out to their teachers—this is best done in person—and let the teachers know you’re there to offer support. 

Rushing the “Plan B” Discussion  Students who do come in to share the news of a No usually come in two groups.  The first group comes in to let you know they were denied, and have decided to go to a different college.  These students generally come in for affirmation, not counseling—and they also come in to reach closure.  If they volunteer their new plan, the best thing to do is offer a modest condolence for the rejection, congratulate them on their choice, and thank them for the chance to work with them.

Students in the second group come in and simply tell you they’ve been denied.  When you offer a response, they may quote parts of therejection letter about the number of students who applied, but they haven’t really digested the information—they’re more on auto-pilot, and are asking for help working through the news. 

All kinds of good strategies can come into play here, but looking too far down the road isn’t one of them.  They may not say it, but they already know they’ll need to make another choice, and most of them realize that college will work out well—but right now, they need to review their process, remember their worth, and get ready for next hour.  Focus on those three objectives, and they’ll come back to discuss the Big Picture another day.

Helping Parents Understand Financial Aid Offers

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

Last week, we talked about the challenge of working with a student when a college has turned them down.  This can be a difficult conversation to have, to be sure…

…but it’s nothing compared to talking about financial aid offers to the family of a student who’s been admitted.  Everyone is so delighted with the news from the admissions office, they don’t always pay full attention to the news from the financial aid office.  Here’s how you can help them make a college choice that is both academically and fiscally sound.

No two award letters are the same.  Financial aid recipients  will receive a Student Aid Report (SAR) from every college offering them money.  While many of the same terms are used by colleges, some terms are different—and on top of that, every letter is designed differently, making comparison of offers a pretty hard thing to do.

You solve this with a legal pad or spreadsheet.  Create four rows (“Grants”, “Work Study”, “Loan”, “Other”) and one column for each college that sent an SAR.  Fill the information in one square at a time, and suddenly, you’re comparing apples to apples.

Terms can be confusing.  There’s still room for misunderstanding once the kinds of aid have been sorted, especially when it comes to loans.  Subsidized loans may not sound as appealing as unsubsidized loans to some parents, while others may try to use outdated terms from their days as a college student.

You solve this with a neutral reference parents can go to time and time again.  www.studentaid.ed.gov/  is the place to begin to make sense of the terms; turn parents to this resource, and you’ll find they can begin to teach themselves. 

Parents don’t know what financial aid officers do.  It’s common place for school counselors to call college admission and financial aid officers, but that’s not the case for parents.  Many families see their finances as a very private matter, so it’s easy to see why they wouldn’t want to talk about them with a stranger who has to adhere to a set of rigid government regulations.

You solve this by telling them financial aid officers are caring professionals.  Because they take their job seriously, financial officers have to keep a family’s financial matters confidential.  Since they want to bring every admitted student to campus, they’ll gladly answer a family’s questions, hear about financial circumstances that couldn’t be explained on the FAFSA, and use their professional judgment to meet a family’s need as much as they possibly can. You know the parents, and you know the financial aid officer; do everything you can to give each one a cordial introduction to the other.

The dream college may still seem out of reach.  Some parents encourage their children to apply to a dream college, never dreaming they’d actually get admitted, while others believe in their child’s chances, and simply say “We’ll figure out how to pay for it”—but now need some help coming up with that solution.

You solve this by going very slowly.  It takes a lot for a parent to come to you with this dilemma, so give them plenty of options, including sources of aid, contacts at the college, and transfer options that save money and still lead to a degree from a first choice school.  They may need help asking the right questions or finding the right words to talk to their child, but they’ve done the right thing by asking for help.  Give them clear options and a chance to ask more questions, and you’ll help them build the best possible plan. 

Working with Students When Colleges Say No

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

The slow trickle of college decisions builds to a rushing stream this week and gains tsunami proportions by the end of the month.  Predictions are for a record number of college applicants, which most likely means a record number of students going to college in the fall…

… but students don’t always see this bigger, better picture if one of their top colleges turns down their application.  Not every student who was waitlisted or turned away asks for advice, but these three concepts can help you support and encourage those who do:

Your first job as a counselor is to listen.  It’s all too easy to over-react to a sobbing senior holding a rejection letter in his hands, or the student who keeps staring at her phone, reading the same text over and over again from a college that has said no, blank expression on her face. These tell-tale signs clearly indicate some college-induced disappointment- but they don’t provide a single clue about why the student feels the way they do.

Enter your counseling skills.  Your office provides the space far away from fist-pumping admitted students and “You’re in” text messages, and gives a student the chance to gain perspective, poise, and the words to describe what they’re thinking.  The quietude of your office gives them the right place to try out how they’re feeling, with only a question or two from you to guide them. Never assume you know why the decision makes them unhappy; create an atmosphere that encourages them to tell you.

Watch out for the silent majority.  Not all students treat college decisions like the end of the Super Bowl—in fact, most students have heeded your counseling advice and are calmly happy with the admission offers they’ve received from other colleges.  At the same time, some of these reserved students may need help understanding what their college decisions mean; they just don’t want to call attention to themselves by seeking you out.

The most important work you can do as a counselor is sort out the quiet, happy students from the quiet, questioning students.  Wander the halls, walk the cafeteria, talk to your teaching colleagues and ask how the students are doing.  Good teachers know the difference between a quiet student who’s working well and one who’s working through a challenge; count on them to find the students who most need the help, even if the student can’t find the words to ask for it.     

Always point them forward.  Exploration of why a college made a certain admissions decision can help heal the past, but it does only so much to help the student to face the future with a sense of purpose and expectation, key qualities to a successful college transition.  That’s why it’s vital that the end of any exploration of what hashappened to a student’s college plans ends with a discussion of what will happen with a student’s college plans.

The next step may be a small one—how to break the news to Mom and Dad, how to decide among the colleges that offered admission, or even how to organize their homework for the next day—but every step forward reinforces the underlying message of all college admissions counseling: College decisions aren’t character indictments; you are the same complete person you were this morning; what happens tomorrow is largely determined by what you do with today’s opportunities. Regardless of what admissions offices send out this month, accepting these key premises is the best college decision any senior can make. Guiding them to that acceptance is the privilege of our work.

The Newsletter you Need to Send to your Juniors, Now

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

School counselors across the land have been caught off guard with a handful of colleges sending some admissions decisions to some students in the last week.  It’s hard to sort out why this is happening, but it certainly gives counselors more to talk about—especially with the students who have heard nothing from these colleges, and want to know why.

Since admissions decisions are only going to get messier, it’s time to send one last e-mail reminder to your juniors.  They’re going to have to take a backseat to the admissions merry-go-round that’s ramping up, but there are a few things they need to hear from you, as they get ready for Spring Break.

Here goes:

Spring Break Plans All in Place?

Many juniors have plans to visit college campuses over Spring Break.  This is a wonderful time to get to know a college better—just make sure you follow these simple guidelines:

1. Call ahead.  You want to make sure the college isn’t on some kind of break the day you’re visiting, so be sure to call the admissions office to make sure the college will be open.  You also want to make sure they’re offering tours that day; tours are the best way to get a feel for what a college sees as its strong points, so make sure you sign up for the tour.

2. Personalize Your Visit.  Make sure your visit includes time to sit in on classes, talk to professors, catch up with friends attending that school, or simply sitting in the middle of campus to get a good idea what the college “feels” like.  You may need to contact specific departments to schedule appointments or class visits, but start with admissions.

3. Record your impressions right away.  You want to make sure your memories of a college are accurate and fresh, so be sure to write down your thoughts about a college in the car, right away—before you talk, Tweet, or share your thoughts with anyone else. If your parents are going with you for the visit, write down your thoughts before talking to them, then share your ideas freely.

4. Don’t know where to go?  Start local.  If you aren’t sure where to visit, think about visiting a college that’s close to home.  By taking the tour and sitting in on classes, you have something to compare other colleges to—and you may be surprised at what a great college choice you have that’s just down the block. It’s best to visit a college campus when students are there, so don’t wait until summer—call that college down the street now.

And Don’t Forget Testing Plans!

Given the early application deadlines many colleges will have in the fall, students want to be sure to have at least one set of ACT or SAT scores on file by the end of junior year. Counselors have talked with students about their plans during the first appointment—but if a student has to follow up by registering for the test, now is the time, since seats are filling up for the spring test sessions.

Vacationing?  Be Safe

Some juniors may be heading to warmer climates for Spring Break, with or without your parents.  It’s always good to take a break from school, but it’s never a bad idea to keep your wits about you.   Your impressions of Spring Break should be good ones you keep in your heart, not bad ones you have to share on a college application; make good decisions about where you go, what you do, and who you go with.

When Student Trust is Compromised

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

The craziness that comes with college notifications in March has been matched by a different kind of madness in February.  The Daily Pennsylvanian reports a former admissions officer at The University of Pennsylvania posted portions of applicants’ essays to her Facebook page.  If this weren’t bad enough, several of them were accompanied by commentary indicating the officer’s amazement, displeasure, and criticism of the essays (see the article at http://www.thedp.com/article/2013/02/former-admissions-officer-mocked-applicants-on-facebook)

If this issue doesn’t set off a fire bell in the head of every school counselor, it’s time to go back on spring break.  Disclosing personal information of any kind is a major violation of client confidentiality, a fundamental part of the counselor- student relationship.  College admissions officers aren’t usually counselors, but they are expected to conduct their work with the same level of respect for the student’s privacy. Posting snippets of application essays online is no better than posting the student’s transcript, even if the students’ names are withheld.

This unprofessional action is made worse when the admissions officer demeans the work of the students.  As the article points out, this breach of professional ethics may lead future applicants—both to Penn and other institutions—to wonder if they can disclose personal information with any assurance it will remain private.  This can put many applicants in a tough bind; offer the sensitive insights explaining a bad grade or a challenging family life and risk having it mocked online, or withhold the information and risk having a college make an admissions decision based on incomplete information.

Penn is wisely declining comment on the matter for now, but the situation offers many lessons for counselors to reflect on and share with their students:

Reassure your students  The Penn incident is getting the attention of counselors and colleges because is it sad—but it’s also garnering attention because it’s rare, and perhaps a first.  Admissions officers may not love every application they read, but they have the professionalism to keep their opinions to themselves—and, with one disheartening exception, the good sense to keep their comments off of social media.  This isn’t a trendsetting precedent others will follow; it’s a mistake that will lead emulators to be fired.  Tell your students the process is safe, and so are they.

Look in the mirror  High schools are close-knit communities, and the most successful high schools create an atmosphere of community support for every student.  At the same time, that closeness can lead to some tough calls with student confidentiality.  How should a counselor respond when a teacher says:

·          “That Jenny is one smart student.  Where’s she applying to college?”

·         “Jim ran two or three ideas past me for his college essay.  Which one did he end up writing about?” 

·         “So, did Eleanor apply for financial aid?”

On the one hand, these are reasonable questions being asked by a colleague.  On the other hand, will the answers to these questions really enhance the teacher’s work with these students, or is this just a well-meaning, but personal, inquiry?

There’s very little chance any school counselor will have to tidy up their social media accounts after hearing about this incident at Penn—but this does provide an opportunity for us to consider when, and where, we share insights into our students’ college plans.

Support your student newspaper  The Daily Pennsylvanian covered this issue with thoughtful research, reflection, and balance—and that only happened because student journalists were allowed to hone their craft.  Keep this in mind the next time a student reporter knocks on your office door, and support the teachable moments that make up student newspapers.

Some Hot Counseling Tips to Warm Up February

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

February is a tough time to be a school counselor.  Your appointment book (virtual or otherwise) is bursting with students who have more needs than you have hours in the day.  Your “other duties as assigned” are filling up far too much of your time, what little budget you had is a distant memory…

..and just when you think things couldn’t get worse, your principal stops by and says “The superintendent needs to know what’s new in counseling.  What do you have?”

Just so we’re all working from the same page here, you should *not* tell the superintendent you have trouble sleeping, poor eating habits, and difficulty focusing on any one task for more than three minutes.  These may be all true, but you are a counselor, and this is February—so none of this is new.

Instead, it’s time to dazzle them, and time to dazzle them with a purpose.

Elementary counselors should look at Guiding the Way to Higher Education:  Families, Counselors, and Communities Together.  For years, the National Association for College Admission Counseling has produced counseling materials to support early awareness of college—awareness that is a must for low-income families and families where college may not be a traditional path after high school.  Guiding the Way is the updated guide designed to help counselors talk about college to students  and families in late elementary and middle school grades—and it’s free.

You share this with your principal because college awareness is one of the biggest issues on the elementary counseling scene right now.  If you’re asked what you’ve done with this information so far, tell them you know it’s a sound resource, and you’re trying to find the time to put together a college awareness night for parents, but you’ll need some time to meet with the PTA representatives to make sure the event meets the needs of the community.

And it’s goodbye, bus duty. http://www.nacacnet.org/research/PublicationsResources/Marketplace/Documents/fcct.pdf

Middle school counselors have their own free NACAC resource in Step By Step: College Awareness in Middle School. This college awareness treasure chest helps students build a solid understanding of college by building a solid understanding of self.  Exercises include reflection on the student’s interests and abilities, and tie nicely to career interests and college plans—again, all for free.

You share this with your principal because the interdepartmental options here are limitless.  Step by Stepactivities can fit nicely into the Social Studies, Science, English and Health curricula; casually mention there are more of these out there, if you just had a little time to research them.

And lunch duty is a thing of the past.http://www.nacacnet.org/research/PublicationsResources/Marketplace/Documents/SBS_MiddleSchool.pdf

High school counselors have two things to share. Students and parents want to know if good grades can help pay for college.  The answer is www.meritaid.com, the best place for parents and students to begin the hunt for merit scholarships.  Guide them here for a list of colleges (alpha and by state) that offer all kinds of merit money; once they find a potential college, tell them to visit the college’s Web site to confirm the scholarship is still offered.

You share this with your principal to point out all the other great college counseling tips you could learn, if only your high school could find the modest tuition needed to pay for Counseling in the College Selection Process, the college counseling class most school counselors call “the best counseling class I ever took.”  The online version carries 3 graduate credits and costs about $430; more information can be found athttp://www.collegeisyours.com/College_Counseling_Class.html

And suddenly, spring is just around the corner. 

How to Teach 10th Graders About College

By Patrick O'Connor Ph.D

With college applications submitted and scheduling for next year in full force, 10^th grade students and their parents are starting to ask about college.  The first flowers may not blossom for another month, but the minute junior year schedules are started, sophomores turn on eye towards college, and one eye to you for advice on college.

Whether or not you’ve had your 10^th grade college night, now is the time to introduce Colleges That Change Lives to your aspiring college seekers.  CTCL has been mentioned in this column before, but just to recap:  The first edition of the book was written by Loren Pope, who had toured the country to discover colleges that excelled in working with students, stretching their minds, and providing them with learning experiences that provided the growth everyone expects to see in college.  Mr. Pope has passed on, but CTCL is now in its third edition, and better than ever; it also boasts a very robust Web site (www.ctcl.org) and a college tour program that’s held in August.

Many counselors have found the CTCL resources to be *the* best way to introduce 10^th grade families to college.  It’s a little early for these students to develop college lists, so the real goal of 10^th grade college counseling is to help students understand how to compare colleges.  This creates the perfect time to have the essential talk on what a college is; what makes one college different from another college, and why some colleges that are perfect for your best friend may not be all that great for you.

Enter CTCL.  The first couple of chapters invite readers to look beyond the stress and hype of choosing a college; this helps counselors show families how to begin a student-centered college search that is free of rankings and comparisons to other students.  The remaining chapters talk about the approaches each CTCL college takes in working with students, and why those approaches help student growth. In reading just a few of these descriptions, students and families will develop an appreciation for the qualities that are in an effective college—qualities that are highlighted in the CTCL colleges, but qualities that are in strong supply in all kinds of colleges, to be sure.

I’ve talked about CTCL  with my 10^th grade families, then told them to go visit two local college campuses—any two—to look for the CTCL qualities that exist on those campuses, and to look for the similarities and differences between the schools.  This helps get families past the labels (big v small, rural v urban) to see the opportunities and the atmosphere of each campus.  In some years, I was able to buy a copy of the CTCL book for each 10^th grade family; when that’s not in the budget, it’s just as easy and effective to refer them to the Web site.

These ideas can be powerfully emphasized when these families participate in the CTCL college fairs in the fall.  Each event starts with CTCL director Marty O’Connell talking about how to look for a college; the rest of the evening gives students and families a chance to talk to representatives from each CTCL college, where more comparing and evaluation can occur.

CTCL schools are small private schools, but by seeing the opportunities these schools offer students, your 10^th grade families will look at every college through a thoughtful, personalized lens, and see opportunities at every college to individualize a student’s living and learning experience.  CTCL is a great teaching tool, and now is a teachable moment—make the most of both.